Binary
by Baby Rose
Summary: Following Squall's rescue of Rinoa in space, the two discover that a malfunction has occurred within the Ragnarok. How will they get home? Will they be able to survive? How will their relationship change with this differentiation in the storyline?
1. Rescue

_**Binary star: **a double star system in which two stars revolve around each other._

_**Chapter 1**_

_**Rescue**_

_I'm...still...alive?_

Even beyond her closed eyelids, darkness surrounded Rinoa Heartilly, broken only by the tiny dots that speckled the blackness around her, shouting out their glow across the void that separated her from them. She was drifting...floating across an expanse of time that seemed to stretch on endlessly.

****However, the first things she saw when she opened her eyes were the silver rings on her necklace. With a wan smile, she reached out to touch them with her fingers. They'd been there for so long they were like a part of her. Her mother's wedding ring, and...

_Squall...?_

The Griever ring.

Rinoa had been so sure she was about to die. There was no air in her suit, no life support left to sustain her existence, and she was nowhere near the Lunar Base. There had been no hope. And not only did surviving feel hopeless, but her entire existence as well. After being released from Ultimecia's control, she felt disoriented and wondered just exactly what had happened. She couldn't seem to remember anything of what had happened while she was possessed, but when she saw the Lunar Cry with Adel's broken seal racing toward Earth, memories came rushing back to her in a hurry; ones she would've rather forgotten entirely. She could've been the cause of mass destruction and death to her home, and how could she live with that? Why would Squall want to be with her now that she might've killed his friends and family?

But she had heard his voice. At first she passed it off for wishful thinking; merely her mind hoping he still wanted her around despite her thoughts. But in some form, she knew it was him. Whether the sound reached her ears or her heart, she couldn't be sure, but she would cling to life for that voice. Desperation and determinations resounded clearly within it, and one thing she could be sure of was that he wanted her to live. If only for him, she touched a small button on her spacesuit, which caused crisp, fresh air to blow towards her face. She drank it in with a vigorous thirst, feeling lucky to be alive even if it would be for just a few moments.

_He wants me to live, _she reminded herself. So much so, in fact, that Squall was coming to save her. He was willing to jump out into unfamiliar territory, _space_, so that she could have a future. Even if it cost him his own life, he was coming. She didn't have to question the feeling; somehow, she just _knew. _

As if on cue to her thoughts, she felt a sudden pressure around her waist, and she turned to face her rescuer. Relief was prevalent in his eyes, though it was such a new emotion to be seen on his features that she had to assure herself she wasn't imagining it. "Squall," she said quietly, her gaze locked on his face. Her hands clumsily gripped his arms, never wanting to let go. "...thank you. I heard your voice."

"...I can't believe it," he replied. She could hear both the stoicism in his static-ridden voice and see the expressionless mask upon his face, but his eyes could never lie - she knew he was happy to see her.

Breaking her gaze away from him for just a moment, reality hit her with the starry expanse that surrounded them. They were literally in the middle of nowhere, and running low on life support as she had been before. She wondered now if Squall's rescue had been futile. What if both of them died in space? Would she be okay with that? It was better than dying alone, she supposed, but life seemed so much more appealing. Even though she was a sorceress now, if Squall was with her, she could face anything. And if he was willing to save her like this knowing about her breaking Adel's seal, there was obviously deeper feeling there than she'd originally thought. "Are we gonna make it?" she asked, her voice echoing hollowly across the vastness of space. Maybe Squall was thinking the same things as she.

"Don't worry," he attempted to reassure her, but it was clear he didn't believe his own words. So this was it. After all that, she was still going to die here. She'd never see Earth again. But for some reason, it didn't seem so disconcerting with Squall holding on to her. At the very least, she could die happily in his arms.

He kept a firm hold on her as they continued to glide, and soon her eyes fell on the Lunar Cry still descending on the distant planet. Adel's seal was nowhere to be found now, and she was glad she didn't have the reminder. Instead, the sight of thousands of monsters, from the smallest Geezard to the largest Ruby Dragon, met her eyes. She watched them thrusting and clawing their way to the surface of her own planet, and the spectacle was terrifying, but in an oddly detached manner, she found herself marveling at how beautiful it seemed.

As she watched the phenomenon, a metallic glitter suddenly caught her eye. She turned her head to see a massive ship rotating slowly in front of them. Beside her, Squall had also turned towards the behemoth. "Rinoa, hold on..." his voice crackled in her ear, and she felt his arm tighten around her as hers wrapped around his own. A little shiver skittered down her spine, then Squall used the last of his boosters to shoot them toward the newfound ship.

As they came within a couple feet of it, the head of the craft rose toward them, its dragon-like face revealed in the sun's bright light. Its expression seemed almost menacing, but to the fast approaching couple, it was a safe haven and a lifesaver, no matter what its form. There was no guarantee that the ship would take them home, but at least they'd have some sort of shelter from the middle of space. That was enough for that moment.

Squall reached out and grabbed a passing rung of a ladder, and under his direction, Rinoa did the same, reluctantly loosening her hold on him while he examined the ship's surface. Soon he had located and opened a little hatch, just wide enough for them to fit through. Grabbing her hand once more, he pulled her toward the entrance. She gratefully drifted inside, hearing the muffled scrapings of Squall's movements behind her. Once they were both safely inside, Squall closed the hatch behind them. Bouncing around rather awkwardly in the artificial gravity, he consulted a small display in the wall and tentatively removed his helmet. Finding the air breathable, he nodded to Rinoa, who gratefully released herself from the restrictive spacesuit. When the helmet she wore was taken off, she suddenly became aware of several different sounds and smells.

Not only was the taste of fresh air through her lungs welcoming and liberating, but with each taste of air, she could smell the stale scent of the ship. It smelled as if it had been untouched for many years, and she thought it smelled slightly dusty as well. How long had this ship been here? The hum of motors and whooshing of the air she was breathing seemed loud to her ears, mostly because they'd been so closed off from natural noises. It felt as if she was rediscovering sound after being deaf.

_I'm so happy to be out of that suit, _she thought to herself. _If it hadn't been for Squall, it could've been my coffin. _She shuddered at the notion.

Returning to the more pleasant thoughts of her savior, Rinoa turned to look at him, a playful simper alighting her face as she caught him stealing sideways glances at her. His expression tensed as he realized she was also watching him, and his eyes widened while his face went slightly red before regaining his regular mask, any trace of open emotion retreating. It reminded her of a Turtapod putting up its defensive shell in battle. At the beginning of a fight, it would remain open and easy to inflict damage upon, but as soon as too much damage began to be done, it would close up and become very difficult to attack. Squall was a Turtapod.

Stifling a laugh at the metaphor, she said (with as much composure as she could muster), "Thank you, Squall. You rescued me again. I can't thank you enough."

He shrugged off her thanks as if it was no big deal. "Don't worry about it," he responded, "I just did what I wanted to do."

What he wanted to do. That was so sweet. He freely admitted that he'd 'wanted' to try to save her, even at the risk of his own life. That was it; she wouldn't hold back anymore. Extending her arms out wide, she looked over at him expectantly.

She received a blank stare.

"The spacesuit was in our way before," she hinted, hoping he'd catch on. But if anything, his expression only deepened. "Give me a hug," she told him plainly.

He still looked so puzzled. Was it really that hard to grasp? As if to demonstrate, she wrapped her arms around herself, explaining, "A real tight one! I need to know that I'm alive!"

His confusion only increased. It looked as though he was arguing with himself now, trying to work out what she was asking. It was as if he'd never received a hug before in his life. _Well, maybe he hasn't, _she reconsidered silently. _That's so sad. _After another empty moment's hesitation, he finally replied, "We may be alive right now, but look at our situation... You want to live, right? You want to go back and see everyone, right?"

Did she? Was that really what she wanted? Out there in space, she thought nobody, even Squall, would want her back. But even if one out of the five still wanted her alive, it didn't mean all of them did. She remembered how all of them fought Edea even though she was their Matron; how they said they had to save the world even if they knew her personally, and they had. Irvine was ready to take down the only woman he could've ever called his mother for the sake of his Garden. How willing would all of them be to kill her if she became possessed again? If what she thought was true, would Squall kill the only woman he might've ever loved? Would he, like Irvine, force himself to stop her for the sake of the world? Squall had his duty, he had his priorities. But he wanted to go back, to get out of this situation alive and go home.

"And not become other people's memories?" she said out loud.

"That's right," he answered. So she had been correct. Maybe this was the same case as that day in Galbadia Garden, when he had burst so suddenly that he didn't want anyone talking about him in past tense. If they died up here, if they never got home...that would be exactly what would happen. _He was a nice guy, I really liked him... Cold, but still a good guy. And that Rinoa, well...at least there's one less sorceress on the earth. _Suddenly she found she agreed with his desire to reach home again.

She nodded in return, and let him by as he walked toward the door. The airlock released with a puff of air, and they walked through the doorway towards a bridge. She didn't know what to expect from this ship, but surely it couldn't present any challenge more difficult than escaping from prison, say, or getting through a SeeD-strewn battlefield. At the very least, there was nothing it could throw at Squall that he couldn't handle. And with him there to protect her, she wasn't at all worried. He'd look out for her; he'd done so well with that before.

They walked along the bridge for a moment, and then an inhuman growl broke the air. Rinoa froze and watched in horror as a huge monster moved out from under the bridge. It was colored purple with claw-like hands and a large beak-like face, and seemed to be sniffing the air. Rinoa let out a short cry, then flung herself to the ground and covered her head. Squall crouched down as well -though a little more calmly- and hoped it hadn't sensed them.

"What is that...?" Rinoa whispered, fear laden heavily in her voice.

"I don't know..." Squall replied, his tone soft as well.

The creature lingered for a couple of minutes, then moved on. It was still close enough to hear -the scraping of claws on metal echoed around the ship- but it obviously had not noticed the two intruders. Standing up and pitching her voice at a level closer to her norm, Rinoa observed, "Doesn't look like a very friendly creature."

Squall neither agreed nor disagreed. "Let's just try to sneak by it."

They continued along the bridge (Rinoa keeping a wary eye out for the monster) until they came to a door. Either its sensor was broken or it had been locked, for no matter what Squall tried, the door would not open. "It's no use," he said, projecting his voice back to her. "It won't open. I guess we have no choice but down..."

Immediately after he finished his sentence, a monotonous, robotic voice announced, "Emergency system activated. Cockpit access denied until all threats are eliminated. Security lock released."

Baffled by the warning, Rinoa glanced over at Squall, who shrugged and continued toward the stairs. Squall led the way down, gunblade drawn, while Rinoa checked over her blaster edge. The monster they'd seen from above was patrolling back and forth, but as soon as they reached the lower floor, it lumbered toward Squall and Rinoa, claws ready and threatening.

Readying her blaster edge for battle, she watched as Squall raised his blade. If she forgot about the hideous creature for a moment, she could easily find this romantic - the two of them alone together, fighting side-by-side. In fact...

A harsh smack of lethally sharp claws brought her back to the present. Stunned, she fell back a little, but quickly regained her footing. "Rinoa!" Squall called as he rushed up to the beast to inflict wounds of his own. "You okay?"

Before she could answer, a thought struck her. He attacked this monster so ferociously, so viciously with such feverish malice. He never thought twice before slicing through its flesh with his blade, and felt no guilt when it cried out in pain. "I'm fine!" she shouted back before he began to think she really wasn't okay. Quickly aiming and launching her blaster edge, she added, "It just caught me off-guard."

"Use Blind if you have it," he instructed. "I'll cast Silence."

He was so efficient...so battle-ready. What if that purplish colored monster was her? Would he be so quick and smooth in his actions? Casting different spells upon her to render her helpless and rapidly defeat her; using his gunblade to pierce her heart. Returning to the present and putting her thoughts aside, she searched her inventory to find that she did have several Blind spells in stock. Following Squall's instructions, she cast it upon the creature. It screamed in frustration as its world went dark, but the cry was quickly cut off when Squall followed up with magic of his own.

Working together, they took down the fiend in ten minutes or so. Squall had used a Scan spell upon it, and deemed the monster a Propagator. They were unaware of how the creature had gotten on the ship or why it was there, but at least now it had a name. Panting slightly, Rinoa couldn't help but think how much of a team they made together, and she hoped they would never be fighting on opposite sides. _Partners in fighting evil monsters from outer space, _she thought with a smile. The expression vanished; however, when they entered an adjoining corridor only to find a similar monster charging toward them...it turned out the ship was full of them!

Several tiring battles later, the pair reached the passenger deck of the ship after defeating a yellow Propagator inside it, and found a computer terminal. They'd noticed that, as they passed through different corridors, some of the same monsters they'd already defeated were revived. Neither could figure out how this could be, but maybe another source had the answer. Curious to see if it held any useful information, Squall approached it and read its contents aloud. "'There are eight independent monsters, but they are also one entity. The monsters can be killed through regular combat, but it must be done systematically.'"

"What does that mean?" Rinoa wondered aloud.

"I'm not sure," Squall replied, "but there's more.'They seem immortal,'" he continued, "'but they are not. Killing them in a certain order prevents them from reviving each other.'"

"Ahh, so that's why some of the ones we killed were alive again."

"Yeah."

She thought the concept over for a moment. "How will we know what order to go in?"

He shrugged. "We guess, I suppose. It could have something to do with size, or shape, or maybe even color. There has to be something about them that could give us a clue. We'll just have to use logic."

She smiled playfully. "SeeD logic?"

"Yeah, SeeD logic."

Rinoa pretended to look thoughtful, then said, "I guess I can trust that. All right, Mr. SeeD, let's go put some of your logic to good use. What will we do after they're all defeated?"

"We go home."

Outside, among the black, milky expanse of space Squall and Rinoa had just come from, a small device detached from the bottom of the red ship.

And continued to drift away forever.


	2. The Ragnarok

_**Aldrich: **a name which means guide; leader_

_**Chapter 2**_

_**The Ragnarok**_

After careful consideration and experimentation, Squall had determined that what they needed to do to keep the monsters from reviving each other was to kill them in pairs of color. Not more than a couple hours later, all of the invaders had been defeated, and Squall and Rinoa traveled into the cockpit, now free to explore the ship. They boarded the lift that had previously been blocked off, and Rinoa went in first.

Walking inside, Rinoa looked around and drew in a breath. "Wow!" she cried. Full windows stretched across the cockpit, giving a spectacular panorama of space. Amidst the stars like this, the illusion of just flying out among them fell over her, and she reached her arms out like wings. Fully taking in the beauty of space while her life was hanging in the balance hadn't been an option, so she took the opportunity now.

Hearing a little clicking sound to her left, along with some flickers of static, she turned to see a radio contraption sitting on one of the control desks. Pointing down at it, she said, "Squall, it's trying to talk."

He jogged purposefully over to the radio she'd discovered. She saw him slide a knob in an upward direction, and a male stranger's voice came through. "This is Esthar Airstation." The voice was serious and somber.

Squall seemed to be frozen where he was. Obviously impatient, the voice continued, "_Ragnarok_, do you read? _Ragnarok_, do you read?" Again, the stranger didn't wait for a response. "This is Airstation. Do you copy?"

Rinoa was overcome with joy. Now they wouldn't be so lost! They had hope of getting home. She couldn't think of a better outcome to this whole situation. From behind, she grabbed Squall's waist and hugged him for a moment, much to his surprise. Recalling how shy he'd been of a hug before, she quickly backed off to keep from upsetting him.

"This ship is the _Ragnarok_?" Squall asked the stranger.

"Whoa! Is this really the _Ragnarok_?" Squall shook his head at the response. Rinoa knew he had just asked a form of the same question, and it more than likely irritated him. Before he had the chance to comment, however, the man continued. "You're in space, right?"

"Yeah," Squall confirmed, "but I have no idea where we are."

Radio silence met their ears for many moments. Rinoa's brow furrowed; what was taking them so long? It seemed Squall was thinking the same thing, because he said, "You still there?"

This time, the stranger's voice was both puzzled and slightly uneasy. "Roger, I'm here. We're just trying to understand why we aren't able to find your location. The tracking device we had on the _Ragnarok_ seems to have somehow expired or been destroyed."

Rinoa's eyes widened. Expired? Destroyed? "What does that mean?" Squall asked.

"It means we can't find where you are in space, which will make it more difficult to bring you back home," he explained. "However, there could still be a way to get you back safely without it. We need some time to see what we can do for you, so you'll need to give us a few minutes. My name is Aldrich. If you don't hear from us within ten minutes, contact me again. Until then, hang tight."

"Okay," Squall said shortly. Rinoa could hear a hidden note of fear in that one word; a note that only an ear trained to Squall's tone -one such as hers- could detect.

"Over and out."

Both of them stood motionless. Overwhelming joy had turned to immobilizing fear within a matter of minutes. They'd gone from hope of making it home to becoming literally lost in space. Even the Airstation didn't know what to do at this point. Rinoa had thought she was done floating aimlessly in space…she'd now come full circle.

"Squall…" she whispered, grabbing the necklace resting at her chest. "What are we going to do?"

He shook his head, his eyes remaining forward. "I don't know. We just have to hope for the best."

Squall was being optimistic? Now _there_ was a phenomenon. Nodding absently, she replied, "Right. We have to hope they'll find us somehow. In the meantime, we just…wait." _In agony_, she added internally.

"That's all we can do."

Uncomfortable silence ensued between them. Rinoa stared out the cockpit windows, her mind plagued by thoughts of their fate. What would happen next? Would Aldrich's news be good or bad? The uncertainty was perhaps worse than knowing the truth.

"_Ragnarok_, do you copy? This is Aldrich. Do you read?" Aldrich's voice rescued Rinoa from her tortured thoughts.

Squall was quick to respond this time. "Yes, I'm here. What's the news?"

"The news is fairly good," he answered. "Whether someone or something dislodged it or whether it fell off, we can't do anything about the tracking device. What we can do is send another ship up there to find you."

Squall interrupted before Aldrich could get further. "How will they find us if the tracking device is gone?"

"It will be difficult, no doubt," he agreed, "but if you can at least see Earth from where you are, which I assume you can, we'll have a general search area. You should have enough fuel to last until we can get up there. We have to take one step at a time."

With that prospect, Rinoa thought they might well get home through all of this. The question was: now that they _could_ get home, did she want to face what awaited her? By now, the others must've found out about what happened, and she had no idea how they would react.

"Before we sign off so we can send the ship up," Aldrich continued, "we need to wrap up a few more things. First, I need you to turn off the gravity generator. It will save you fuel, which is a good thing to conserve at this point."

Squall was nodding as Aldrich spoke. "And how do I do that?" he asked.

"You need to be in the pilot's seat."

Rinoa watched Squall eye the three seats in the cockpit, obviously trying to work out which one might be the pilot's. Next he said, "Which one is it?"

"It's the one in the middle."

Walking over and jumping into the seat, he called back to the radio, "Okay, I'm here."

"You see the touch panel in front of you?"

He saw it.

"There's a green button on the panel you should see that has the abbreviation: GRV. Press it, and it will turn off the generator."

Locating the button, Squall pressed it and they could hear a faint humming cease nearby. As a result, Rinoa felt her entire body become weightless beneath her. Her stomach turned over, and her head seemed to swim a little with the sensation.

"Done," Squall reported.

"Okay. Now, all I need before we sign off for a while is your names," Aldrich said. "We're collecting escape pods, and we have a pretty good idea of what happened."

Fear suddenly gripped Rinoa tightly. In that moment, she realized that not only must Quistis, Selphie, Irvine and Zell know about what she did in space, but everyone in Esthar must've known she was a sorceress by now as well. What would they do? What would happen once they found out she was on the ship? She was responsible for releasing Adel, the very pinnacle of treacherous sorceresses in their time. And what would Squall do? What would he say…if anything?

"I hear no one from the Lunar Base is on the _Ragnarok_," Aldrich went on. "How many of you are there?"

"Just two," Squall responded.

Aldrich paused. "…Your names?"

"Squall," he said. "I'm a SeeD from Balamb Garden."

"And the other?"

Rinoa waited to be discovered. She had a feeling Squall might not anticipate any strong repercussions from telling them her name. Opening her mouth to say something, she shut it again, choosing against stopping him. It could make matters even worse than they already were if she did so.

"Rinoa," he answered.

There was shocked silence on the other end for a moment, then, "Rinoa? The sorceress? She's on the ship?" She winced at the reaction, though it was expected. Squall glanced back at her, but she did not make eye contact. She could only guess what he must be thinking about her. After floating toward him-quite awkwardly, at that-she sat in the seat next to his and drew her legs up to her neck.

"I've…become a sorceress, Squall," she told him. At that time, she would've given anything to be able to read what was going on in his mind. On the other hand, if he was thinking the same things everyone on Earth was thinking, maybe she didn't want to know.

She could see him stare at her for a moment out of the corner of her eye, then he replied to Aldrich, "Yes, she's on the ship," in an annoyed tone.

"She will be seized when the ship comes for you. We're going to start getting the rescue ship ready for launch now. If you need anything, anything at all, contact me." He seemed to stress his last sentence to Squall, as if to insinuate that Rinoa would do something to him while they were off the air.

"Fine," he answered shortly, offering nothing more.

"And Squall?"

"What?"

"From all of us at Ground Control, we wish you godsp…"

Aldrich's voice was cut off suddenly, followed by a series of loud screams and sounds of glass shattering.

**Author's Notes:** You reviewers are amazing! Thank you so much! I hadn't realized how much I missed until I got all of them… (All five, haha, but five is so many to me!) They were so nice, especially Optical Goddess, I'm glad you all like it so far! This chapter still had most of the dialogue from the game, I know, but next chapter will be fresh, I promise. I tried to make it more interesting with Rinoa's thoughts to break up the dialogue. I hope nobody's bored or anything. Anyway, please review, and thanks so much!


	3. Lunar Cry

_**Chapter 3**_

_**Lunar Cry**_

Panic was written over every inch of Rinoa's face. The screams on the radio had been followed by static, and now there was no sound at all. She and Squall were truly on their own.

Squall headed over to the radio, picked up the receiver and tried to get a signal. "Aldrich?" he called. Dead air came in response.

"Ground Control? Does anyone read?" His words were coming faster, and he was leaning closer to the radio, the deafening silence still echoing back to them. "Is anyone out there!"

"Squall…" her own voice quaked, "what happened to them?"

He didn't answer. After a moment he shook his head silently, then abruptly slammed his fist on the panel. She flinched at this sudden show of temper. "So now what?" he demanded. "We just wait out here for nobody until we run out of fuel and starve to death?"

Rinoa's voice was timid when she replied, "Maybe they already sent a ship up. Maybe they'll be here soon." Even if she had trouble believing it herself, she wanted to stay optimistic for him. He needed optimism right now. Hell, he needed optimism every few _minutes. _

He sighed, allowing himself to float back from the panel, but he stayed in the vicinity just in case a signal picked up. She could tell the thoughts going through his mind were dark and despairing, and her positive outlook didn't seem to be enough to cancel them out. _What are we supposed to do now? _he would be saying internally. _After I saved Rinoa out in space, we're just going to die here? _

He must've been worried about what kind of terror Adel would unleash on Earth, even if he never spoke the words aloud. Irvine, Quistis, Selphie and Zell were left to fend for themselves, resigned to an unknown fate, and she felt as if it was all her fault. It was her fault that everyone was in danger. If only to relieve part of the guilt she felt, she felt compelled to tell him what she knew.

Still sitting in the co-pilot's seat while he hovered by the radio, she spoke to him and hoped her quiet voice would reach his ears. "There's something you should know, Squall," she said, her dismal voice breaking the silence between them. He said nothing in return, so she simply continued.

"I was possessed out there. This sorceress, Ultimecia, was controlling my body. I found out that she wants to achieve Time Compression, and she's been using my body to accomplish her goal. She's the one who made me break Adel's seal. But nobody knows that except you. And even if I did tell them, they'd probably still hate me because I'm a sorceress now. That's why I didn't want to go back before. Before I knew we _couldn't _go back. And now…"

Tears glittered in her chocolate eyes with each shaking word. "Now they'll never even know the truth. They'll hate me forever for something I never did." She couldn't keep the tears at bay anymore, and wet drops escaped from her eyes, floating away into zero gravity.

She wasn't surprised that he was quiet the entire time she was baring her soul to him. She hadn't really given much room for comment, and even when she had, there wasn't much he could say. But couldn't he hear her crying? Did he feel no inclination to comfort her? Curling up into a ball in the seat, she sobbed into her knees. Why fight the tears when there was no reason to hide them?

Suddenly she felt his presence in front of her, and then she felt his hands on her shoulders. She looked up at him through blurry eyes and saw his concerned expression. Bittersweet happiness washed over her as her previous thoughts were proven wrong. "I don't want them to hate me," she choked out, shaking her head. "They were just starting to be my friends."

He wrapped his arms around her, and then she felt Squall rest his head atop hers as she cried. He didn't say a word, but his actions spoke for themselves. He cared more than she ever imagined.

----------

_She could see Squall's face before her._

_His eyes were different for some reason. They held an emotion that was more compassionate than she was used to seeing. There was more life, more gentleness, and most of all, more love. He gazed at her tenderly, cupping her face with his gloved hands._

_"We'll see shooting stars together."_

_"Just like the night we met?"_

_"Just like the night we met."_

_She smiled happily. "Do you promise?"_

_"I promise, Rinoa."_

_She was looking at her own reflection in the mirror. _

_She was garbed in the same creamy dress she'd worn the night of the SeeD Graduation Ball, and Squall's Griever ring was on her left ring finger like a wedding band. She'd spent hours getting ready. She wanted to look beautiful for him._

_But where a smile should've been on her face, there was an unhappy expression. A worried frown creased her attractive features; one of doubt and uncertainty. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't remember where she was supposed to meet Squall so they could see their shooting stars together. Why couldn't she remember? He was so important to her; she loved him with all her heart, so why couldn't she remember such a simple thing?_

_She was standing in the middle of a field. _

_Grabbing hold of the single ring at her neck and looking down at the Griever ring on her finger, she started to run. She ran through Timber, Galbadia, Deling and Balamb, becoming more panicked with each step she took. She ran, and she ran, searching for him, until she could run no longer. Her legs collapsing beneath her, she screamed, "Squall, where are you?" just as she hit her knees on the cold hard ground. He was gone. Nowhere to be found._

_Gone forever._

_-----------_

Rinoa awoke with tears streaming down her face. She glanced at her surroundings, and remembered just where she was. Stuck out in space with…

She frantically searched the room and found Squall sleeping beside her in his sleeping bag. A careful search of the _Ragnarok_ had revealed two warm sleeping bags, and they were grateful to have found them, despite the strange floating feeling as they slept.

She let out a sigh, and removed herself from her own makeshift bed, drifting toward the cockpit windows. It had felt so real. Squall's face, his voice, his actions…it all seemed so real. Even now that she was awake, she could feel the panic in her heart; that sensation of helplessness she'd experienced in the nightmare taking over. No matter how hard she tried to tell herself it was just a dream and that Squall was there, the feeling wouldn't dissipate. She couldn't rid her mind of those terrifying emotions.

A chill came over Rinoa's body, and she hugged herself to keep warm. She ran her hands up and down her arms in an attempt to put some friction and heat between them. It felt cold inside the ship, and as she stared out the sprawling window, space itself looked frigid as well.

What had brought on that dream? Did she think she would lose Squall? How would that even happen? They were out in space; it wasn't like he could just wander off. So why was her subconscious bringing about that fear? The questions plagued her mind with no answers from the star-painted sky.

"Rinoa?" She heard Squall's voice behind her, and she turned quickly to face him. Her thoughts ceased abruptly, her breath stolen by his presence. He came over to her slowly, asking, "What is it?"

She forced a smile and let one arm fall to her side. "I had a dream. A scary dream."

He was silent for a moment, as usual. "What was it about?" he asked quietly.

She swiveled back around to the window. How could she tell him she'd dreamt about him? How could she say she'd dreamt of putting on his ring and dressing up for him? The possibility of marriage and commitment seemed so sudden; she wondered how he would react to such thoughts.

_Don't be ridiculous, _she scolded herself. _He saved you from _space, _for Hyne's sake. It's obvious he cares about you. A dream won't make him turn away. Besides, he's got no where else to go, and you don't really have to tell him that part…_

Beginning to tell the events of the dream Rinoa started with their promise to see shooting stars together. She explained her distress of not being able to find him and of running until her legs gave out, remembering every vivid detail. Conveniently, she left out the detail of the wedding band. "Then I woke up," she told him. "I was crying. I didn't think I'd be able to go back to sleep, so I came over here."

More silence.

"It was just a dream," he replied to her dissatisfaction. "It doesn't mean anything."

The answer felt so impersonal. The dream itself seemed symbolically important somehow, and all he could say was, 'It was just a dream.' _After all this time, you should expect it, _she told herself on second thought._ He's just not that kind of guy. You've known that all along. _Attempting to keep the unhappiness out of her voice, she said, "…I guess you're right."

"How about this…" he began, to her surprise. Was he actually saying more than he had to this time? But what was he trying to say? "I'll be here."

She gave him a puzzled stare. Here? She assumed he meant the _Ragnarok_, but, "Why?" she inquired curiously.

"The reason you couldn't find me is because we haven't promised yet."

"Promised…?" she repeated, waiting for more.

"I'll be waiting for you," he told her. "If you come here, you'll find me. I promise."

She was still confused as to what he meant by, 'here.' "You mean…here on the _Ragnarok_? Right here in the cockpit?"

He shrugged slightly, then nodded his head. "Right now, it's the only place we have."

Rinoa clasped her hands together tightly and a grin lit her face. "Then I'll be here too. It's a promise!" she declared happily. Her voice softer now, she said, "Thanks, Squall. Next time we'll meet for sure."

He nodded and looked as if he was about to reply, but before he could, they heard a familiar crackling sound to their left. After so much radio silence from Esthar, the sound was welcome. Both of them turned their gazes toward the sound, and then looked back at each other, the grin upon Rinoa's face growing wider.

"The radio…" Squall said, his voice hopeful.

"Aldrich?" Rinoa questioned. Their previous guide's name was all she had to say.

Squall approached the radio gradually. When he reached it, they suddenly heard the last voice they would've expected to hear resounding through the _Ragnarok_. "Squall!" the familiar voice cried, static breaking in every few seconds. "Squall, do you read? Rinoa, are you there?"

Rinoa was about to say a word of reply, since she had been addressed, but quickly stopped herself. If her previous notions were correct, Rinoa would be the last person Quistis would want to speak with.

Squall picked up the radio quickly, as he had done with Aldrich. "Quistis!" he exclaimed with surprise. "I'm here, we read you."

Relief was evident in her voice. "Oh, thank Hyne! We've been trying to reach you for hours! Are you guys okay?"

"Yes, we're fine." He paused, thinking of what she'd said. "You've been trying to reach us for hours? What time is it there, Quistis?"

"It's 21:30. We've been trying to reach you since early this afternoon."

He shook his head, glancing back at Rinoa. They'd slept through the day on Earth. Quistis and the others really had been trying to reach them for hours on end. What had happened to the radio that caused such massive damage? "I see. Is everything all right there?" he asked.

"Yes, we're all fine. Zell, Selphie and Irvine are here with me," she relayed to him, sounding much calmer, but still wanting to know the situation. "What's going on there?"

Squall ignored the question to ask, "How did you contact us?"

"We came to Esthar after the escape pods landed," she told him. "Remember when I escaped from the Lunar Base when you went out in space? I was unconscious for a while after that, and when I woke up, it was just me and Peit. I met up with Selphie, Irvine and Zell, and when we realized you were still missing, we feared the worst."

He waited for her to go on. "We came to Esthar thinking we might find some sign of you there," she continued, "and we found that the Lunar Cry had desecrated the city. We started to eliminate some of the monsters roaming around, and eventually stumbled across this building. We found a few notes scattered around here that mentioned you, so Zell took a shot at repairing the radio."

"What happened to Aldrich?" Squall asked suddenly, quickly after she had finished her sentence.

"…Who?"

"Aldrich. He was guiding us from Ground Control. Last night he was cut off in mid-sentence. All we heard was screaming, and then nothing. Do you know what happened?"

She was quiet for a long time. Rinoa thought for a second that they might've lost the signal again, but Quistis's voice came through. "E-Everyone at Ground Control is dead, Squall," she said softly. "We found Esthar in shambles when we arrived."

Dead? Aldrich was dead? But…how? "How?" Squall asked, beating her to the words.

"It was the Lunar Cry," she explained. "The monsters invaded Esthar, and… There aren't many survivors in the city."

With no Aldrich, they had no guide. _Then we really are stranded here, _Rinoa concluded silently. _It's downhill from here. _

Squall sagged slightly, but straightened himself again. She could sense the inner struggle he must have been having about their fate, but he ignored it. "What about Adel?" he inquired. He acted completely unconcerned about their own well-being. Was it unselfishness, or duty? Maybe it was both.

"Adel came down with the Lunar Cry. Zell says she's in some place called the Lunatic Pandora," she informed him. "We plan to find and defeat her immediately before she can do any further damage." She paused a moment. "What…will you two do?" Quistis was hesitant to ask the question, as if by inquiring she was signing their death warrant.

"…We'll figure out something. Make sure you guys are prepared for the fight." Rinoa's trained ear picked up the concern in his voice. He was worried about them.

There was a smile in Quistis's voice. "We'll be ready, Commander. We'll check in with you after the battle, and maybe we can come up with something to get you back here. Things aren't the same here without you two."

Joy spread through Rinoa. They didn't really hate her! They didn't blame her for what happened. "We miss you too, Quisty!" she exclaimed from behind Squall. "Good luck with the battle!"

The instructor laughed quietly. "Thank you, Rinoa. Keep Squall in line." Despite the laughter, there was a strange note to her voice, but Rinoa couldn't quite pick out what it was. Something about the words seemed insincere, though she couldn't be sure why.

"No problem there!" she replied enthusiastically anyway.

Squall gave her a look, then shook his head. She giggled, unable to suppress her laughter. "Contact us again as soon as possible," he told Quistis. "Let us know what happens."

"We will."

"And Quistis?"

"Yes?"

He paused. "Be careful."

Her voice was barely above a whisper when she replied, "Yes, sir."


	4. Survival

_**Chapter 4**_

_**Survival**_

****A rumbling sound woke Rinoa from a sound sleep. They'd gone back to bed after talking with Quistis, and she had no more dreams of being unable to find Squall. But that sound had disturbed her peaceful rest, and she knew she had to do something about it.

_Of course I'm hungry, _she thought to herself. _I haven't eaten since we fought Edea at Galbadia Garden. I wonder where I can find food…?_

She'd probably have to eat one of those space meals in the sealed packages. What if they were gross? Oh, hell, she didn't care. She was starving. She heard groaning from where Squall was sleeping, and he began to stir. Seeing her awake, he asked, "Did you have another dream?"

Turning to face him, she smiled. "Actually no, thanks to you. I'm just really hungry."

He removed the sleeping bag from his body and came toward her, grogginess hindering his steps. "I am too. There must be food around here somewhere."

"That's what I was thinking."

"Then let's split up," he suggested. "Check cabinets and other rooms. We'll find something."

She nodded, noting his SeeD logic resurfacing. "Okay, I'll start up here."

"Then I'll head down the lift."

Rinoa felt a tinge of fear. Since they'd gotten on the ship, he had been by her side to protect and comfort her. With him on some different side of the ship, anything could happen and she'd be all alone. If Ultimecia possessed her again…

"Okay, let me know if you find anything," she told him, keeping the note of uncertainty out of her voice. Instead of going over irrational fears, she wanted to be brave.

He nodded in return, boarded the lift, and was gone from sight. The only thing she could hear now was the hum of the engines, and it sent an eerie feeling through her. Wishing to fill the emptiness with noise, Rinoa began to rifle through the cupboards in search of something that would quell the monster rumbling around in her stomach. However, every cabinet she checked held only space supplies such as air tanks, helmets, and gadgets she'd never seen before. Nothing in the cabinets remotely resembled edible food.

After fruitless searching, Rinoa started to panic. What if Squall couldn't find any food either? Would they starve here? For the third time in less than two days, she faced death again. Frankly, it was becoming tiresome.

Hearing the lift rising back up, she turned and awaited Squall's return. Praying to Hyne that his search was more successful than hers was, she watched as he appeared and felt a sinking sensation in the pit of her stomach when she found his hands empty. She saw his own face fall, grim reality dawning in his eyes as well.

"You didn't find anything," he said, his face becoming expressionless once again. He phrased it not as a question, but as a statement.

She shook her head, her voice shaky, "No. I looked everywhere. There's nothing."

Squall moved forward, past Rinoa and toward the pilot's seat. She watched him with curiosity, wondering what he was thinking. Was he worried about her safety more than his own? Was he still thinking about how much he didn't want people to talk about him in past tense? With such fleeting hope of returning home, she couldn't see how those thoughts would be very important anymore. She just wished she could read his mind. Suddenly, his voice broke the silence. "This ship was abandoned for seventeen years," he said, repeating what Aldrich had told them. "Of course there's no food."

Abruptly feeling the need for comfort, she wandered over to the seat he occupied and drifted onto his lap. He seemed surprised, but he didn't struggle. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she snuggled her head under his chin. The thought of having no food or water until they wasted away was horrifying, and hugging him close made those thoughts seem less horrible. Besides, maybe it was good for him to have close human contact. Hyne knew he was deathly afraid of hugs.

She was beginning to accept the fact that they probably wouldn't see Earth again. She'd never see her father, home, her friends, or Angelo ever again. Even if she didn't get along with the man, she still loved him. He was her father. Would he miss her? Or would he be glad to get rid of her? What about Zone and Watts? Would Timber every have its independence? She'd never get to see that day, even if it did come.

"We aren't going to make it back, are we?" she finally asked, her tone soft and sad. She almost hoped he would be the optimistic one again, if only to try to give her hope. Even if it was false, even if there was a one hundred percent chance of not surviving, she wanted to know what he thought.

He averted his eyes from hers, still holding her body. She could see the truth in his actions, even before he said the words, "Probably not."

The words made her sag slightly, but she'd known the truth anyway. It just solidified her previous ideas. And since neither of them had hope of getting home now, they might as well enjoy each other's company while it lasted. Holding to him tighter, she nestled her head in his chest and placed on hand on the side of his face.

"I'm glad I'm with you, Squall." Her voice was still quiet. "If I have to die, I'm glad I'm with you. Not alone in space."

He didn't respond directly to her question, but she could feel the tension in his body slacken the slightest bit. Though a small one, it was what she assumed was an indication of a comfortable feeling. "Why are you holding onto me like this?" he asked her, without trying to be cold or unfeeling.

She wondered if she'd made a wrong move. Was it too soon for this? Had she assumed too much? "You don't like this, Squall?"

He halfway shrugged and shook his head. "Just not used to it."

She cocked her head to the side in curiosity. "How about when you were little? Didn't you feel safe and secure being held by your parents?" It was nice to be so close to him; to be touching his face like this. It had been uncomfortable for him at first, but if he wasn't protesting, he must not have had a huge problem with the position.

"I can't remember anything about my parents…" he replied, looking away. "But…Ellone was there for me. Ellone was there to hold my hand."

Rinoa stared at him intently. There was so much of his past that was missing…like a puzzle only a quarter of the way finished. He knew what his name was, and what his purpose of being a SeeD was, it seemed to her, and hardly anything more. But it must've been different when Ellone was there for him. It sounded as if she was a huge part of his life. He couldn't always have been this way. Something must've caused him to retreat into himself.

"Made you feel safe and secure?"

"Sure," came his typical response. "But she left. Just disappeared. I'm afraid…" He paused. "Afraid of having that feeling of comfort taken away."

That was what happened. The only person who'd ever given Squall that feeling of security was stolen from him. Now, if she was assuming correctly, she gave him that same feeling, and he was scared to feel it. "You were afraid of losing us?" she asked. "Is that why you kept your distance?" He was driving everyone away for fear of more heartbreak.

"I was always alone…"

The phrase itself was so pitiful. The last thing Squall would want was pity, but she felt so bad for him. What he could remember of his past was painful, and it affected his life every day. He refused to become close to people like Quistis, Zell, Irvine and Selphie because he didn't want to feel that pain again. But really, all he was doing was making life lonely and not experiencing the joys of life and friendship.

Suddenly feeling almost protective, she squeezed him close to her. "Squall…" she said, her voice pained. "You missed out on all the good things in life. You've missed out on so much."

"…Maybe."

"Definitely," she told him firmly. "I like it like this. I liked having my mom hold me. My dad, too, back when we got along." Thinking of when she was young, wrapped in her mother's arms, fleeting nostalgia swept over her, but she chased it away. She had Squall now.

"I'm not your mom."

His statement was completely serious. They way he could be so serious about something that was so obvious made a giggle escape her lips. He was almost child-like sometimes in the things he said and the simplicity in which he said them. "No, of course not. But now…" she started, wanting him to know how she felt, "Squall, you're the one who gives me the most…comfort. Comfort and happiness…" Thinking for a moment, she added with a few playful kicks of her feet, "And annoyance and disappointment, too!"

Squall was silent, unsure of what to say. Again, his body tensed slightly. She knew what his next word would be. It would be the characteristic word Squall used any time he was uncertain of how he was expected to respond.

"…Whatever."

"…Whatever," she said simultaneously with him, then laughing at his predictability.

"We should probably keep searching for food," he recommended, changing the subject.

She didn't acknowledge his statement. "I was afraid to go back."

"You told me that already."

She nodded and took her hand away from his face, any trace of a smile leaving her expression. "I know. But it wasn't just because I thought everyone would hate me. It was afraid we wouldn't be able to stay together anymore." By this time, her chin was in her lap. "And when we talked to Aldrich, I was positive we wouldn't be able to stay together. And now…" She trailed off, wondering if she should continue.

_Come on, Rinoa, _she scolded herself. _He was honest; you might as well be too. _"Now that we're stuck here and probably will never make it home," she continued, "I feel like I'd trade it back. But I still wanna stay with you. I feel so confused…"

She had been thinking about this a lot. Wondering what would've happened, had they been able to go home. Wondering which outcome was better. But she'd never know now.

"No one can predict the future," Squall responded inadequately. "There are no guarantees. Those were your words, Rinoa."

Oh great, now he was twisting her words around. "That's not what I meant," she said quietly. Feeling upset, she left his lap and settled herself in the co-pilot seat with a sigh. "That's not what I meant at all…"

Relieving static interrupted the tense moment. Getting up and floating over, Rinoa heard Squall telling Quistis to come in. Soon the woman's voice filled the cockpit, but she didn't sound like the normal Quistis they knew. Intrigued and wondering if something was wrong, she followed Squall and stood behind him.

"Squall," she began. The first Rinoa noticed was the exhaustion in the woman's voice, but there was another note that she couldn't quite put her finger on. "We beat her. Adel is gone."

Rinoa put her hands together and cheered, "Alright! Great job, guys!"

Squall was much calmer, but it was obvious he was pleased. "Good. That means you're about to fight Ultimecia?"

"No," she corrected in a whisper. "Ultimecia is gone too."

Both Squall and Rinoa were confused. Quistis wasn't herself at all. "Did something go wrong?" Squall inquired.

A defeated sigh escaped her, as if she was preparing to relive something excruciatingly painful. "There's one more Sorceress left on Earth, Squall. And one less person."


	5. Hyne's Gift and Price

_**Chapter 5**_

_**Hyne's Gift and Price**_

Rinoa's heartbeat quickened considerably. If Quistis was implying what she thought she was implying…no, it couldn't be. Closing her eyes, she prayed hard for her inclination to be incorrect.

Squall's voice was somewhat apprehensive. He didn't let it quaver, but he couldn't mask the fear it held. "I don't understand," he said. "What do you mean?"

"Adel had to pass her powers onto someone," Quistis informed him. "I'm a Sorceress now. And…Selphie didn't make it through the battle with Ultimecia."

Tears stung Rinoa's eyes and started to fall. Her prayers had been ignored. She'd only known Selphie for a few weeks, but the pain of loss was still present, and she could only imagine how the others were feeling. Bringing her hands up to her mouth, she shook her head in disbelief. Every inch of her was screaming for it not to be true.

Since they'd met, Rinoa had really liked Selphie. She was always upbeat and excited about everything, and Rinoa liked the positive energy she gave to the group. And now…she was gone. It was hard to imagine it. How could something so terrible happen to someone like Selphie? And how would Squall feel? She looked over at him expectantly.

Squall stood in the same position, unchanged and unmoving.

She couldn't see the expression on his face, but she was sure it had to be one of indifference. That was almost always what it was. It was infuriating. Any excuse he could've given at this point wouldn't be enough to forgive this behavior.

"She was…she…" Quistis attempted to continue. "It was too much for her. Ultimecia attacked her several times, and we couldn't save her. We're all pretty devastated, especially Irvine. I can imagine you two are as well."

The tears slid down Rinoa's cheeks, and she waited for Squall to say something in reply. But nothing came from him; at least, nothing pertaining to Selphie's death. "You said you're a Sorceress now?" he stated, keeping his back to Rinoa.

She couldn't believe what she was hearing. It was like Selphie's death didn't matter at all to him. From what they'd all talked about, Squall had grown up with Selphie. She'd accepted the fact that it was difficult for him to show emotion, but this was ridiculous and heartless. "Squall!" she cried, floating beside him. Looking straight into his face with an angry expression, she scolded, "Don't you even care about Selphie? Don't you care about what happened to her?"

Rinoa might as well have been a speck of dust. He completely ignored her, not even meeting her eyes. "Repeat," he said firmly. "You are a Sorceress, Quistis Trepe?"

Quistis was just as distressed as Rinoa. "Yes, Squall, but…"

"Have you told Headmaster Cid of this?"

"Yes, Squall, he knows. Why are you…?"

He cut her off again, not allowing her to finish a sentence. "Then your secret must stay within Garden. If we are to avoid panic, no one outside Garden can know about your powers."

Now anger replaced the tone in Quistis's voice. His coldness was maddening. "Fine," she responded shortly. "As you wish, _Commander._" Her words were filled with spite.

Rinoa wouldn't allow Quistis to sign off in this manner, however. Pushing herself in front of Squall, she said into the radio, "Quisty, give Irvine and Zell our love. We're very sorry to hear about this."

There was a slight lift in the woman's voice at the kind words when she said, "I will, Rinoa. Thank you."

Squall attempted to cut in, but she wouldn't permit it. She was too angry with him to let him finish this conversation the way he was acting. "When will we hear from you again?" she asked, keeping her demeanor gentle.

"I'm not sure," Quistis replied contemplatively. "There's going to be a funeral, of course, and then we're going to work on getting you guys out of there."

"In other words, it'll be a while," Rinoa concluded.

"Pretty much. But we'll do the best we can. Just hang in there until we contact you again. We might be able to get Dr. Odine or Laguna to help us. We'll be in touch with you as soon as possible, you have my word."

Rinoa wondered how long they would be told to "hang in there" until they could hang no longer. But she was sure Quistis would do her best. "Okay, we'll hold on. Over and out."

Immediately after she said the words and heard Quistis sign off, her entire mannerism changed drastically. Whirling to face Squall, she cried, "What the hell was that? One of your friends is dead, Squall! Doesn't that even faze you?"

He said nothing for a few moments, then said, "You had no right to interfere on SeeD matters." Crossing his arms with attitude, he looked away.

The words stung. Sure, she wasn't a SeeD, but did that exclude her? She had no rights now? The best thing to do, she decided, was just to keep her same brave exterior. "Your first priority should be your friends," she told him. "They were upset, and as a friend, you should comfort them. That's what friends do."

He made no response, so she continued with her tirade. "What if it was me instead of Selphie? Huh? Would you act the same way then?" she demanded, putting a hand over her chest for emphasis.

Still, no words escaped his lips. Aggravated and brought to her limit, she came toward him, yelled, "Answer me!" and pushed him away forcefully, causing him to float all the way to the cockpit windows. "Answer my question!"

His eyes were widened in surprise, but only mildly. There was no great shock to his features, and it was further frustration for Rinoa. It was similar to when Angelo disobeyed her when he was a puppy; she'd scold him and tell him he was a naughty dog, and he just stared up at her and wagged his tail. It never made a difference until she spanked him and repeatedly told him he was a bad dog. The comparison was somewhat degrading to Squall, but it was very similar.

Giving her a look she couldn't quite read, Squall floated over without a word to the pilot's seat. Pushing a few buttons, she felt her feet touch the floor again. He'd turned on the gravity generator, despite Aldrich's advice on saving fuel.

He walked toward her calmly, and she continued to give him a glare as he did so. His footsteps echoed solidly in the cockpit, and resounded with power. Rinoa wondered if she should be frightened, but something told her the last thing he would do would be to hurt her physically.

"What do you want me to say, Rinoa?" he finally said, breaking his silence. "Yes, I care that Selphie's dead. Yes, I'd care if you were dead. Do you want me to fall apart up here? Is that what you need, for me to crumple to the floor and cry uncontrollably? Because if that's the case, I can tell you it won't help us get back to Earth any time soon, and we'll be right next to where Selphie lies."

She averted her gaze; his words were cold and cut her defenses. "I never asked you to fall apart," she replied quietly, trying to keep her voice hard. "All you had to do was show a little emotion."

"Like you?" he asked sarcastically.

Her head snapped up in fury at the comment. "Yes, like me! Did you even hear Quistis on the radio? They needed you! They needed your support and you denied them it!" The familiar words left her mouth and she remembered when she'd said them before. She had been speaking of how Zell wanted Squall's support in reassuring him that Balamb Garden would be safe from Galbadia's wrath, and Squall had simply turned him away. But after she was through lecturing, Squall had collapsed to the ground and didn't wake up for almost an hour. It had terrified her so badly while he was unconscious, she even apologized to him afterward. What would happen this time?

He took a step closer to her, and, instinctively, she backed up a pace. "Would it really have made a difference, Rinoa?" he demanded. Now there was true emotion in his eyes, and she was glad that he was finally showing some kind of feeling, even if it was anger. "What good would it do us if I had gone completely soft? Would it have gotten us back home?"

She shook her head, but not in answer to his question. He was missing the entire point of the argument. With Squall it was always business and orders, tactics and strategy. Why couldn't he for once focus on something more personal? "You just don't understand," she said softly, her persistence finally defeated. "You just don't get it."

"You're right," he retorted in a mocking voice, "I must be toogoddamn devoid of emotion to understand."

Now he'd gone too far. The biting words had been unnecessarily thrown at her, and she couldn't fight the tears that pricked her eyes. Taking in a shaky breath, she turned from him and ran toward the lift, feeling a little unsteady now that she was on her feet again. But she never wavered, not wanting to show him how weak she felt. Without a look back, she let the elevator take her down to the main level and headed for the passenger deck, tears blinding her vision the entire way.

Stomping toward one of the seats, she sat down heavily and drew her knees up to her chest, putting herself in a fetal position she was always comfortable with. Burying her head in her legs, she sobbed hysterically until the tears would come no longer. Making him understand human emotion and how much she cared about him was so goddamn exasperating, and adding his bitter sarcasm to the mix was just too much. She'd never expected him to lash out that way toward her, and it not only scared her, it also caused a sharp ache in her heart.

The whole situation reminded her of her relationship with Seifer that summer. Those three magical months she'd spent in his presence were also filled with heartbreak, especially toward the end. He stopped treating her the way he used to, stopped being sweet and sincere and caring. During the worst times, she would do the exact same thing she was doing now. He'd say something to hurt her feelings, and she'd run to hide in some other room and cry into a pillow with Angelo nuzzling her in an attempt of comfort. The only difference between them was that Seifer usually came to apologize by now. And that, to her, was the most depressing aspect of it all.

After an hour or two, she had wiped her eyes clear of any tears and redness. She'd even almost forgotten what she was crying about, but the first thought of Squall that entered her mind brought his words screaming back to her.

_"I must be toogoddamn devoid of emotion to understand."_

Rising from the seat she was in, she walked out of the passenger deck and circled around to the opposite door next to the lift. His voice kept repeating itself in her mind, and all she wanted to do was shut him out. She had been right; he didn't hurt her physically, only verbally. He hurt her in one of the worst ways imaginable; by targeting her heart and firing with his words.

Crossing through the loading deck, she found herself in the room where they'd fought one of the red Propagators. There was a place in the back of the passage that was mostly dark and compact, and it looked like a somewhat comfortable place to settle down. The last place she wanted to return to was the cockpit, and this seemed like a safe distance away. Her eyelids felt heavy after the exertion of crying so much, and a nap sounded particularly appealing. Sleep usually helped ease her mind and troubles, and she needed that more than anything right now.

Doing her best not to think of Squall at all while she fidgeted into a comfortable position, she found just the right crevice to lie in, closed her eyes, and was asleep within a few minutes.

****

****

**Author's Note:** Merry Christmas, everybody! I thought I'd update one more time before we hit Christmas. Don't know how many of you will be reading, but consider this my Christmas gift to you. I think it's funny that you all guessed Selphie to be the new sorceress. xD I'm curious as to why you thought that. Her with sorceress powers would be scary. oO lol, but I hope nobody's too sad that she died. Sorry if I offended you, any Selphie lovers out there.

Anyhow, I appreciate all the lovely reviews, and I hope you all keep giving them! I hope you all have a wonderful holiday, too. See you next chapter!


	6. Seifer

**Author's Note: **Okay, so it's been quite a while since I updated this story, and it's because I wasn't sure I liked the direction I took in this chapter. I'm still not sure I like it. But I figured I'd let you guys be the judge of that, since I had quite a few reviews for only five chapters, and I've been getting reviews asking for me to update. So here it is. Feel free to open it up to constructive criticism, but I'm not a big fan of flames, so please keep it civil if you don't like this chapter. I'll understand. Please review!

_**Chapter 6**_

_**Seifer**_

The sound of desperate shouting and calling brought Rinoa out of a dreamless sleep. How long she'd been asleep, she couldn't be sure, but it had to have been a few hours. The yelling was muffled at first, but soon she could hear them clearly in the same room.

"Rinoa!" Squall's voice called, sounding panicked. "Rinoa, where are you?"

If he hadn't sounded so alarmed, she would've been tempted to stay where she was, but it was clear he was extremely worried about her. Scrambling to her feet and adjusting her clothing back to the right places, she threw her voice to him. "Squall! I'm over here!"

Turning around, his face took on an expression of relief and happiness upon seeing her. He started to walk toward her, and she took the opportunity to run to him. He extended his arms out, and she threw her own around his body. Her arms came up under his shoulders, and his wrapped around her upper body, while one hand stroked the back of her head. She wasn't sure why he was so frantic, but she knew he needed an embrace, and she'd be the first to give it to him.

"What's the matter?" she asked, trying to speak closely to his ear. "What is it?"

"I'm…sorry," he started, almost choking out the words, "about earlier."

She paused before answering. It was hard to forgive so quickly, but what else could she do? They were alone in space; it wasn't like she could avoid him for too long. And truth be told, being alone was the last thing she wanted to be. "It's okay," she answered.

"I came to look for you an hour ago," he told her, pulling away and looking into her eyes. "I looked all over the ship before I came back here. I didn't…know where you were."

In other words, specifically translated from the language of Squall to English, he didn't know what happened to her, and it scared him. He did care, he really did. The problem was the fact that the times he showed it couldn't be predicted, and often they were few and far between.

It didn't matter now. All that mattered was feeling his touch and keeping him close. "I'm here," she said softly, hugging him again. "I'm okay, it'll be alright." It felt strange to be the one comforting him, when normally it was the other way around.

He nodded, more to himself than to her, replying, "Right. We should go back up to the cockpit. Quistis might try to contact us again with updates. It's important for us to be there if she does."

Beginning to walk toward the lift, Rinoa felt the urge to grab his hand, and followed her instinct. She slipped her small hand into his large gloved one, keeping her gaze forward. In her peripheral vision, she could see his startled glance, but he never attempted to pull it away. Boarding the lift together, they shot up toward the cockpit and left the elevator still holding hands.

Strolling toward the pilot seats, Rinoa turned inward and grabbed his other hand so that she was facing his body. She stared up into his stormy eyes, and he stared back, a reflection of passion in them similar to the look she'd seen in her dream of the previous night. It was a look she wanted to keep in her memory forever.

So magnificent was that look of adoration in his eyes to see, she started to inch toward his face and before she knew what was happening, their lips were meeting in a passionate kiss. The shock of emotion that coursed through her body when this happened was nearly overwhelming. Her head was tilted to the side to fit in the contours of his face, and her eyes had closed to relish the raw feeling.

The kiss began soft and tender, but soon she felt his tongue venturing inside of her mouth, and her arms moved around to his back, coming up under his shirt. She could feel him shiver with her touch, and next she ran her hands through his soft mahogany hair, rubbing it around with her fingers.

Heat began to grow within her groin, and she felt the need to release it somehow. Instead, she just kept kissing him. His hands had moved to a location underneath her ears, and she placed hers on the side of his face, where she could feel stubble beginning to grow.

He broke away from the kisses for a moment, and Rinoa took that time to gasp for air. Gazing up at him with a smile, she breathed, "Don't stop," and locked lips with him again.

Squall suddenly started to push her back with the urgency of his kisses, and she allowed it. Once her back hit the cockpit wall, she wrapped a leg around one of his. She wanted all of him…for him to have all of her. Never had she expected this to happen so suddenly, but it was wonderful.

Rinoa found herself beginning to slip off Squall's jacket, and it felt to the floor with a thud from the weight of the leather. Next she untied her duster and let it side off of her body, leaving her with just a black tank top on her upper half. She was glad to be free of it, for the heat within her was making it unbearable to wear.

He moved his kisses to her open neck, and she caught her breath while she did so. "Devoid of emotion, huh?" she said breathlessly.

She smiled and closed her eyes as she said it, but wondered if she should've kept her mouth shut when the kisses stopped steadily. Opening her eyes, she looked at him quizzically. "Why'd you stop?" she asked immediately.

"We shouldn't do this," he replied. "Not with everything that's happening right now."

She shook her head fiercely and took a step toward him, placing her hand on his cheek. "No," she half-whispered. "It can help us to forget…I want to forget."

"But we have to…"

"Shh," she quieted, putting two fingers on his lips. "We don't have to do anything. We can do anything we want to do." Slowly moving her fingers aside, she slipped her lips in their place. He didn't give in right away, but eventually he was forced to surrender to his heart.

As they started to become intimate again, she loosened his belts and dropped them to the floor as well. She started to rub her hands up and down his abs and stomach, beginning to slide down the wall and onto the floor. Squall came down with her, easing himself on top of her frame.

She felt so caught up in everything that was happening. All the feelings she held for him being released, as she had felt when this happened before with previous lovers. It had been so beautiful, so magical, and so wonderful to feel. Just the way it was now.

Moans and sounds of pleasure escaped her lips, signaling Squall to go further. But what left her pretty mouth next would be words she would regret forever.

"Hyne, Seifer…" she groaned, closing her eyes again. As soon as she realized the name she'd uttered, they snapped open to meet Squall's shocked gaze, every movement he was making came to a halt.

"Seifer?" he repeated incredulously. He backed off of her in a rushed state. "Seifer!" His tone started to rise.

Rinoa bent her frame in half as she sat up, propping herself on her elbows. Since he'd stopped touching her, she thought her heartbeat would begin to return to a normal pace, but instead it only increased. An awful feeling started to grow in the pit of her stomach, and she felt sweat collect even more in every part of her body. What in hell could she say to change this?

"Squall, I…"

"Congratulations!" he cried acerbically. "You got it that time!"

She flinched at the cruel words and started to stand. "Squall, I'm really sorry. I really didn't mean to say that…"

"No, I think you did," he snapped. "At least I know where you stand now." He turned away from her, grabbing his belts and jacket off of the floor and beginning to put them back on. Every movement he made was deliberate and striking, showing his anger in each action.

"Please, Squall, it was an accident. I just got caught up in the moment, and he was the only one I ever did that kind of stuff with, so I was used to…"

"Used to screaming his name? That's very sweet."

She feared his wrath, just as she had mere hours before. He was so volatile sometimes, and it scared her how unpredictable his emotions could be sometimes. How rash he could be when something happened to upset him. It made her wonder about any future they had together, if there was a future after this.

"It's not him I want," she persisted, a lump forming in her throat. "It's you. It's been you since I danced with you that night in Garden."

He didn't turn around, fastening the buckles on his belts. "Whatever," he said, the cruelty leaving to be replaced by a cold, firm tone. "I'm going down to look for food. Don't follow me."

Stomping over to the lift, he boarded and was gone from sight within seconds. In those moments after he vanished, tears of anger slid down her cheeks at her own actions. _I'm so stupid, _she berated herself inwardly. _How could I have said Seifer's name and not Squall's?_

Could it be that she wasn't completely over Seifer? No, that couldn't be it. It had been one summer, that was all. The summer in which she'd completely given her heart, her soul, and her innocence to Seifer Almasy. Squall's most bitter rival, and their enemy. How could she have been so utterly stupid? She couldn't understand.

_I know Squall is who I want. I saw his face in my mind when I closed my eyes, and I reacted to his touch in that special way. I just made a mistake._

But she knew Squall would never believe that kind of explanation. It had taken so much just to get him to kiss her, let alone do those other things, and now she had shattered every chance she'd had.

The silence in the cockpit was unnerving. She hated to be alone again, especially in a situation where she was left to debate with herself about how she could be so unthinking. He'd told her not to follow him, and at this point, she thought it safer to heed to his request.

Picking up her duster, she wrapped it around her arms and tied it in the front. It suddenly felt chilly in the cockpit. It had been a terrible day, and this just topped it all off. Slowly walking toward the pilot seat, Rinoa plopped herself heavily onto it.

With a sigh, she looked down at the panels and buttons, a lost stare glazing over her face. Everything had been going so well; kissing him was all she wanted to do for the rest of eternity. She'd single-handedly ruined one of the most perfect moments of her life.

She let out a cry of despair, and put her head down on the control panel, resting her face in the crook of her arms. In a flash, she heard a series of beeps and buzzes, causing her to lift her head swiftly in alarm. Now what did she do?

"**TRACTOR-BEAM-INITIATED,**" a female robotic voice announced. "**SENSING-OBJECTS-NOW.**"

Rinoa's eyes were frantic. What did that mean? Had she done something detrimental to the ship? If she had, she was going to be in even more trouble with Squall, if that was humanly possible as of right then.

A couple of hours later, Squall returned with a silver package in his hands. It sloshed around while he held it, and had thin white tubes surrounding it, and when he approached the pilot's seat he dropped it on top of one of the empty side panels. It was a panel without buttons, unlike the one Rinoa had messed with, and she turned to the side to look over at it questioningly.

"What is that?" she asked meekly and quietly, still afraid he was fuming.

"A water package," he informed her, all traces of bitter rage gone from his tone. "I found it in a storage cabinet. We can share it."

She had been trying to forget her hunger and thirst, but upon seeing the water pack, her mouth went dry and suddenly it seemed very appealing. "Like now?" she asked carefully. "Can we share it now?"

"It doesn't matter," he replied curtly, heading for a seat of his own and sitting down in it.

Having been given permission, she grabbed the package and began to look it over, endeavoring to find out how to access the water through the tubes. Once she was successful, she began to drink ravenously through the straw-like object. The water made its way down her throat and into her stomach, coursing through her body like a delicious food and quenching her dire thirst.

Deciding she'd had enough after a minute or two, she wiped the sides of her mouth in the most ladylike fashion she could, and then held it out to Squall. "Do you want some?" she offered.

"No."

Not daring to push him any further, she set it back down on the panel and turned back around in her seat. She stole a glance at him and found that he was staring forward, out into space. Before he could notice that she was looking his way, she faced forward as well.

Awkward silence ensued. Rinoa was afraid to say anything, and Squall refused to talk to her. After what felt like endless moment of quiet, she finally came to the conclusion that they had to talk about her mistake. This couldn't continue.

"Look, Squall, about what happened earlier…"

"I don't want to talk about it." The words were short and firm, almost like a warning.

"Well then when do you want to talk about it?" she said, her voice losing its demure sound and raising in volume.

"Never."

"Squall!" she exclaimed, distressed. "You can't just ignore this!"

"Watch me."

Just as she was about to retort, the robotic voice at the panel interrupted. "**ATTENTION,**" it said, "**OBJECT-DETECTED-IN-TRACTOR-BEAM.**"


	7. The Lunar Base

**Author's Note Again: **So I decided to upload the next chapter too, seeing as I'm going out of town until the 28th. I figured I'd give a better chapter to go on than Chapter 6, because I like this chapter a lot better. So I just figured I'd post it now, rather than waiting until I got back. Keep you guys with me, in case you were turned off by the way the last one turned out, lol. Although I do appreciate every review, still. Special thanks to Optical Goddess, your reviews always entertain me. xD Anyway, yeah. You're three chapters away from the end...it's gonna get intense! lol. Enjoy.

****

_**Chapter 7**_

_**The Lunar Base**_

"It was an accident," Rinoa explained, desperate to defend herself, though Squall was doing nothing to attack her with questions. "I laid my head on the control panel, and it…said it was initiated."

His stony gaze was enough to make her shiver. "Do you have any idea what a tractor beam is?" he asked flatly.

Rinoa thought for a moment. "I…think I saw one in a movie once. But I'm not exactly sure what it does." She pulled her lower lip through her teeth and made a face. "That's not a very big help, is it?"

"It must be some kind of catch device," he surmised, keeping his exterior. "Like a gravitational pull. Maybe it's something useful."

"How will we know where it is?" she asked him, trying her best to be calm and gentle. Provoking him was the last thing she wanted to do now, after everything that had happened between them earlier.

"We won't. We'll just have to search."

Rinoa nodded slowly. "Right. Where should we start looking then?"

Squall stood, brushing past her toward the lift. He said no words, gave no motion to encourage her to come along, but she followed anyway. She wouldn't allow him to shut her out completely, like he did to everyone else. She was just starting to break through the high walls he'd built around himself, and she was determined not to let that slip away now.

Running over to board the lift with him, she kept quiet as they descended, and when they were back on the first level of the ship, Squall headed to his left. This direction, she realized, was toward one of the corridors where they'd fought a Propagator. One of the isolated wings of the ship.

Rinoa watched Squall inspect the walls in silence, fingering buttons and reading labels. Finally coming to a conclusion, he said, "There's nothing here. It must be somewhere else."

"Lead the way," Rinoa told him with a tentative smile.

They left the area and traveled toward the other side of the ship next, Squall walking further ahead than Rinoa, ensuring that she wouldn't be able to keep up. With a sigh, Rinoa followed obediently, watching every step he took. Every move was executed with a strict feel; tense and all-business. His back was always straight, his form always rigid. Save his hair, nothing about Squall Leonhart ever looked disheveled on the outside.

Presently, they'd arrived in a similar looking corridor as the last one in the right wing of the ship. Squall went through the same process as before, but this time he pushed one of the buttons. The same robotic voice they'd been hearing throughout the ship resounded around them, while the wall started to move.

"TRACTOR-BEAM-LOCATING-OBJECT. LOCKING-TO-OBJECT-NOW," it told them while the wall shifted and twisted. Both Squall and Rinoa watched in awe at the spectacle, their gazes fixed upon it. The wall started to change into a short walkway, taking its original features with it. Nothing besides the shape changed. It made aching noises, protesting against the movement, groaning as if it were in pain.

A loud, clanking sound echoed back to the two, causing Rinoa to jump. They also both felt the _Ragnarok _itself shift slightly. Both of them had to struggle to keep their balance for a moment, and when the mini-earthquake was over, Rinoa looked at Squall questioningly. "What was that?" she wondered aloud.

Squall shook his head, but before he could reply, the computer was speaking again. "TARGET-LOCKED. YOU-MAY-PROCEED."

Rinoa flicked her gaze to Squall. "Should we proceed?" she queried.

He shrugged, keeping his eyes forward. "We may as well. There's a possibility of finding food and water if we do."

She nodded. "Okay. I'll follow you."

Squall started forward, walking slowly through the newly formed walkway. She trailed behind, taking in her surroundings. The walls were the same crimson color as the rest of the ship, but some of the places in the wall looked stretched. The compartments had shrunken as well, leaving no room for anything else to operate. The _Ragnarok_ was certainly a strange ship.

They reached the other side of the walkway in a couple of minutes. Rinoa knew instantly that they were in unfamiliar territory, for the unpleasant smell that attacked her senses.

"Oh Hyne," she breathed, covering her nose and mouth. "What is that smell?"

She was unable to see the expression on Squall's face, but she was sure it was something similar to her own. Her nose and forehead crinkled together, and she kept her hands near her face to block out the stench. It seemed to burn the very insides of her nose.

Continuing to move forward, they traveled through the dark ship. Once the impact of the smell had worn away, Rinoa glanced around. Emergency lights still cast a glow through parts of the ship, but for the most part, they were heading into total darkness. What she could see, however, were cream-painted walls, and surroundings slightly more modern than the _Ragnarok_'s. Many parts of the ship were sectioned off into other rooms, some medical, and some navigational. Ahead of her, the only thing she could see was a staircase that led up into more rooms.

Busy looking up and around, Rinoa was surprised when the darkness finally engulfed them completely. Giving a startled cry, she instinctively jumped forward and latched onto Squall's arm. Realizing after a moment what she'd done, she remained still, holding to him and listening to her heart pound. How would he react to her touch now?

She felt his body tense, and watched his fists clench at his sides, but he didn't shrug her away. She released her grip on him slowly, her movements cautious. Pulling back to an upright position, she wrapped her arms around her upper body.

"Sorry," she apologized softly. "I…I'm a little scared, I guess." She laughed nervously.

His tone was cold, and he did not look back at her, but told her in response, "Just stay close to me."

At the sound of the familiar words, Rinoa's head snapped up. She remembered the comforting phrase he'd spoken at the Sorceress Parade, when she'd been attacked by the Iguions. Though he'd said the words with the same amount of feeling he had then (which was perilously close to none at all), they still offered consolation. Just hearing them again reminded her that when she was with him, she felt like nothing could happen to harm them.

Nodding, she did as he said and stayed close to his side. They moved forward in the darkness, and she strained to see ahead. Squinting her eyes and concentrating, she suddenly tripped over something thick and heavy. With her legs bare, she felt cold flesh touch them. She realized at that moment that the smell the ship was rank with was at its strongest here, and just exactly what that smell was.

"Squall!" she shrieked, frozen where she stood. "Squall, it's…it's a body!"

She heard his footsteps stop, and imagined he was looking back at her. He called back to Rinoa through the darkness, his voice like a beacon of light. "Just step over it, Rinoa. I'm right over here, just walk toward my voice. You'll be fine."

Her legs shook violently, and her breathing came in shorter gasps, but she forced herself to move forward. She moved inches at a time, searching with her foot for the ground, praying silently that she wouldn't step on the body. When she found concrete again, she breathed a sigh of relief and ran the rest of the way to where she could slightly make out Squall's form.

She collided into his frame and heard him grunt in surprise. Her fear of darkness and the dead body was far greater than her fear of his rejection, so she clung to him tightly. The only place she always felt safe was in his arms.

"They're dead, Squall," she whispered. "The people on this ship are dead."

"I know," he replied, keeping his arms at his sides. "I know they are."

She simply held him close, breathing in the scent of his leather jacket. However, he only permitted it for a matter of seconds. "We need to keep moving," he told her stonily. "We're looking for food and water, remember?"

Rinoa nodded and pulled away slowly, a shiver running down her spine involuntarily. Darting her eyes through the darkness, she asked, "What happened to them? Why are they dead?"

Squall was avoidant. "I have an idea, but…I'm really not too sure."

She continued to follow him closely until they reached what looked like the cockpit. There were lights in this part of the ship, but they were dim and flickering. Rinoa assumed they were surviving emergency lights.

Rinoa swallowed hard as they approached. Several bodies were strewn about; some on the floor, twisted in various positions, and some were slumped in chairs near the controls. She found that some still had their eyes open; an unnerving gaze she felt was fixed upon her. Mouths were gaping open on some of the bodies, open in a soundless scream that would echo throughout the ship for as long as it existed. Blood ran down the temple of one body not far from her, and another had obviously been stabbed through the throat, for the pool of blood surrounding his upper body was substantial. Rinoa felt her stomach turn in on itself.

"Good Hyne," she whispered tremulously. "They're everywhere."

"This place is familiar," Squall stated, looking around at everything besides the bodies. "This…looks like the Lunar Base."

Rinoa didn't recall anything from the Lunar Base, since she'd been possessed. None of these surroundings looked familiar, for the only thing she remembered was waking up in space. So she said, "Do you remember where anything was stored? Anything we could benefit from?"

"No," he replied. "We weren't on board long enough to need anything like that. I guess we'll have to search this ship like we did the _Ragnarok_."

Rinoa felt a strike of fear. "You mean…we're splitting up?"

"Are you okay with that?" He kept his back to her, but the tone of his voice was sincere.

She took in a deep, quiet breath, straightening her posture. "Yeah, I'll be okay. Where should I look?"

Squall turned, his eyes meeting hers, and his expression unreadable. "Start back in the lockers," he instructed. "Go back the way we came in and to the left."

Rinoa nodded in understanding. "We'll meet back here?"

"Sure."

"Okay." She turned to leave, but stopped mid-step to add, "Be careful," in a soft voice.

There was a pause before he responded, "You too."

Smiling, Rinoa traveled back into the darkness of the ship. Her heart drummed loudly in her chest, seeming even louder in the silence of the ship. She searched for her necklace, closing her hand around it. Her only hope as she followed Squall's directions was that she would avoid tripping over another body.

Spotting a lighted pathway to her left, she turned and followed the dim emergency lights. More bodies were along the walkway, and she resisted the wave of nausea that threatened to sweep over her again. She kept her eyes on the room at the end of the hall instead.

When she reached the door, she opened it and walked inside, taking in the surroundings. The walls were painted in blue and white, and a row of lockers ran along the east wall. What looked to Rinoa like a bed rested near the west wall, and more items lay beyond the bed. Rinoa focused in on the lockers, remembering Squall's words.

She pulled the locker open and flinched when it gave a loud screech. She tentatively looked inside, and saw several objects resting within it. Some, she suspected, were extra air tanks and tubes, but what she noticed was the silver colored packets on the top shelf of the locker. They were bulky and medium-sized, and a hopeful smile lit her face. In response, her stomach growled loudly.

"Any luck?" came a voice from the doorway. Rinoa gave a cry and jumped, grabbing the locker to steady herself. Seeing that it was Squall, she heaved a sigh and smiled to herself.

"You startled me!" she exclaimed, picking up the packets and starting toward him. He said nothing in return, only shrugged. "I found these. I think it's food, look." She showed it to him from a distance and suddenly felt a little weak, thinking of eating whatever food was in the packets. It was a struggle to get back to Squall without swaying a little.

"Good, something useful." Noting her behavior, Squall's expression became puzzled. "Are you okay?" he asked, a hint of worry in his voice. "You look pale."

"I'm fine," she insisted. "I'm just really hungry, that's all."

"Then you should eat," he told her simply. "You should go sit down on the bed. Take yours, then I'll choose."

She was grateful for the kindness, and showed it while she walked toward the bed. Settling down into the folds of the bed, she chose one and opened it up, beginning immediately to eat voraciously. The liquefied food slid down her throat easily, although the taste left something to be desired. However, that was her last concern at that moment.

Squall calmly picked up the other and started to eat, obviously not as desperate for food as Rinoa. At least, if he was, he didn't show it as greatly. He stood in front of the bed, instead of sitting on it with her.

Feeling her strength beginning to return after a few moments, Rinoa set down the pack and leaned back on the bed. Heaving a sigh, she placed her hands over her stomach and said, "I'm still hungry." She started to giggle.

Setting the pack down to wipe his mouth, Squall stared at her while she laughed to herself. She noticed a spark of humor work its way into his eyes, and then something happened that Rinoa would never have expected.

He smiled.


	8. Destiny

**Author's Note: **Okay, so I'm posting two more chapters for you guys. I really want to get this whole thing posted, and I think it's better to post two at a time, since my chapters are fairly short. So here it is, the last two chapters before the finale. Get ready! lol, it's not that exciting, but I am most proud of the ending. I'll talk more about that when we get to Chapter 10 and the Epilogue, though. For now, enjoy Chapters 8 and 9. Thanks for the continued support! I love all the reviews.

****

_**Chapter 8**_

_**Destiny**_

It was a small smile. Barely noticeable to the untrained eye, but Rinoa could've seen it from a hundred miles away. The corners of his mouth curved slightly upward, showing dimples Rinoa never knew he had. Her laughter subsided into a soft expression, as she thought about how beautiful his smile really was.

"Squall…" she said quietly, "you smiled."

He shook his head, what little trace of a smile there was quickly fading. "No I didn't."

"Yes you did!" she exclaimed brightly. "I saw it!"

She saw his cheeks flush before he turned away. "Whatever," came his natural response.

"Squall," Rinoa told the Commander seriously. "It's okay to smile. It's actually really good. It…lets people know you care. And in some cases…" Her voice became hushed. "That they were wrong about you."

He was quiet. She suspected he still felt embarrassed, but couldn't be sure. She didn't want to make him afraid to smile again, so she left the subject alone. Silence resulted between them until, surprisingly, Squall broke it.

"I'm sorry, Rinoa."

She blinked. "For what?"

"For the way I acted earlier. It was…wrong." He was sincere when he spoke the apology, and thought she could tell it was hard for him to get it out smoothly.

She stood, her legs feeling stronger beneath her, and walked up behind him. "I forgive you, Squall," she told him gently. "You had every right to be angry. I understand."

"I should've known. Of course you still have feelings for him."

"It's not that, Squall," she whispered. "Believe me, it's not that."

He turned to face her, a pointed expression on his face. "Then what is it?"

Rinoa ran a hand through her hair. "I wish I could tell you. But when I was with Seifer that summer, it was nothing but infatuation. With you…it's different. Really different."

He didn't reply to the statement, but she saw that indifference that had been in his eyes vanish. "We need to get back to the _Ragnarok_," he said. "Quistis might be trying to contact us again."

Rinoa agreed. The gang was probably still working on a way to bring them back to Earth, and if Squall and Rinoa couldn't be reached, they might start to worry. "You're right. Let's go." She got up and followed him out, noticing the bodies in the hallway again. She'd nearly forgotten her fear while she was in the locker room.

Alternating her gaze from following Squall to the dead people, she said thoughtfully, "I wish we knew what happened to them."

"They were evacuating the ship when I went out to find you," he informed her. "I assume they either lost oxygen, or something attacked the ship." She thought she heard a hint of hesitation as he finished his sentence, but she didn't know what that could possibly mean. What would've attacked the ship?

Rinoa recalled the space rescue, and how brave Squall had been. That was how this whole situation began. "You know, if it wasn't for me," she said as they walked, "you could be safe at home now."

Squall kept walking but said firmly, "This isn't your fault, Rinoa."

"I know," she replied, though she seemed unconvinced. What she'd said was true, regardless of whether the situation was her fault or not. The fact was that if he hadn't jumped out into space to save her, one of them would be safe.

"It wouldn't change much if I hadn't gone out there anyway," he added matter-of-factly.

They walked back into the _Ragnarok_, giving Rinoa her security again. Curious about what he'd said, she asked, "What do you mean?"

"If you had died out there…things would be a lot worse than they are now."

She felt warmth come over her. It was the most blunt way she'd ever heard Squall say he cared. "Then I guess it's a good thing, in a way," she concluded softly.

"Squall? Squall, come in." Quistis's voice resounded through the cockpit not long after Squall and Rinoa returned. She still sounded somber.

Squall pushed the transmitter button. "I'm here, Quistis."

"How are you two doing?" she inquired worriedly. "You must be hungry and thirsty."

He threw a look Rinoa's way, as if to say, 'Well, _some_ of us still are,' to which Rinoa giggled. Instead, he said, "We actually just ate. There's a device on the _Ragnarok_ called a tractor beam that Rinoa unintentionally initiated. It located the Lunar Base, and we found food there. And I found water on this ship earlier today."

Sudden excitement entered the Instructor's voice. "Wonderful!" she exclaimed. Away from the radio, she said, "Guys, start working on the pod."

Squall and Rinoa exchanged quizzical looks. What could that mean? Rescue? "What are you talking about, Quistis?" he asked.

"We have an escape pod to send up," she informed him. "It holds three people exactly, including the pilot. It's the one Peit and I were in. Since it crashed, we weren't sure if it would work, but some of the survivors in Esthar are technicians and have been helping us out. But it might take a while, which is why I asked how you were doing. You think you'll be okay for the time being?"

Rinoa's eyes had widened considerably. They'd had this kind of hope before, and it had been crushed, so she decided to keep her joy for when it actually happened. But the possibility still made her ecstatic.

Squall looked to her for confirmation of Quistis's question, and she nodded vigorously. "We'll be fine for now, Quistis." From what Rinoa could tell, Squall was happy as well. His posture straightened, his face brightened, and so did his tone. They both couldn't wait to be home.

"Great," Quistis said. "You two will be back here soon enough."

"It'll be nice to see you guys again, Quistis," Rinoa said with a smile.

"You too, Rinoa. We'll update you when we have more details about the pod. In the meantime, stay safe and let us know if you need anything."

Both Squall and Rinoa nodded. "Right," Squall said. "Over and out."

He turned to Rinoa slowly when Quistis signed off, not quite sure what to make of this new information. He seemed to be unable to find the right words, so Rinoa tried for him.

"You'll believe it when it happens, right?"

"Exactly."

Rinoa let a yawn take over, and stretched her arms out. It had been a while since they'd last slept, and she felt it starting to take a toll. "Ready for bed?" Squall asked, noting the action.

"I think so." She got into her sleeping bag, and he slipped into his own, settling down with a pillow. She scooted closer to Squall, watching his facial expression. He didn't seem to mind, so she got comfortable there.

Nuzzling close, she looked up at the ceiling. "What time do you think it is on earth?"

"I don't know," he answered simply.

"Maybe it's the middle of the day," she suggested. "Or maybe it's really morning, and people are just eating breakfast. Isn't that a funny thought? Us going to bed while everyone is just getting up?"

"Yeah, sure."

His short answers didn't deter her. She was used to it by now. Closing her eyes, a memory came to mind and she opened them again. "Squall?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you remember the night we met?"

"How could I forget?"

She smiled sadly. "I wish I hadn't walked away after we danced."

There was a pause before he nodded. "Me too. But you did."

"You're right, I did." She thought a moment, then continued. "But you know…maybe it was supposed to happen that way. You know, like fate, or destiny."

"Maybe. I don't really believe in those things, but maybe." He started to close his eyes, but Rinoa wasn't finished.

"And Squall?"

He opened his eyes and made a sound of acknowledgement. Snuggling even closer to his side, she whispered, "I'm glad it happened like this."

She started to drift off, but not before hearing Squall reply very quietly, in an almost inaudible voice, "Me too."


	9. Falling

_**Chapter 9**_

_**Falling**_

Rinoa woke to find herself even closer to Squall than she had been when they fell asleep. Her arms rested near his stomach, and her head was nestled in the crook of his neck. He was still asleep, and she didn't move away. She couldn't be sure how he would react to seeing her there, but she was willing to find out.

Studying his face, she noted that the creases of worry and solemnity never left Squall's face, even in sleep. They seemed always to be etched into his expression. Was he ever at peace? She wondered. It saddened her to think that way.

As if attuned to her watchful gaze, Squall's eyes fluttered open. He looked over at her, seeming unfazed at first, then puzzled. "Good morning," she greeted. "Or afternoon, or evening, depending on what time it is at home."

He looked down at her arms, then back to her eyes. "Did you…? How did we…?" he stumbled.

Rinoa smiled and lifted her shoulders in a shrug. "It must be fate."

"Squall, come in," the radio intruded. "We have news about the pod."

A sense of hope flashed in both of them, and they scrambled out of their sleeping bags almost in sync. Squall reached the radio and picked it up eagerly. "What's the news, Quistis?"

She sounded weary and slightly discouraged when she replied, "It's good and bad."

Squall hesitated, glancing back at Rinoa. She took it upon herself to decide which piece of news they wished to hear first. "What's the good news?"

"The good news is that we can send the pod up there for certain."

Rinoa's brow furrowed. "So…what could be bad about that?"

"It can only carry one of you."

Rinoa felt dizzy. Her head was reeling, trying to get a grasp on the words Quistis had just spoken. "W-what?" she fumbled. "But Quistis, you said it could fit three!" Thousands of thoughts were flooding her mind, and she couldn't get them sorted just then. Consequences of this could be catastrophic…this could mean losing Squall. Losing everything they'd been fighting for up here. Losing everything they'd just gained.

"I did," Quistis confirmed, "but that's including the person who has to pilot the pod. One side is damaged beyond repair."

Rinoa remained incredulous. "Quistis, you can't just send for one of us. That's just…you can't do it!" She shook her head violently.

"Listen," Quistis said calmly. "There's a possibility that we can come back up to get the other of you two, but it's risky. It takes a lot of fuel, and oxygen. The reality is that only one of you might make it back here."

All was silent between the three for what felt like endless moments. Rinoa couldn't imagine a worse outcome. Either way, they lost. If Quistis wasn't hopeful that they could come back, that truly meant that either she lost her life, or Squall lost his. No matter what, after this, they couldn't be together. She couldn't deal with that. Above all, though, she couldn't deal with leaving Squall behind. If it had to be this way, she would be the one who stayed.

At last, Squall asked in a flat voice, "How long will it take for the pod to get up here, Quistis?"

"Well, we need to refuel it and do a few more repairs, so probably five or six hours. I can let you know."

"We'll be ready."

"Okay, I'll contact you again soon." She paused, then added, "Let us know who's going first once you decide. Over and out."

Squall turned away from the radio, facing Rinoa, whose face was ashen. "How can you be so calm about this?" she asked disbelievingly.

She thought she saw a flash of pain in his eyes. Maybe even regret. He turned and walked toward the cockpit seats, and she followed. "Squall?"

"You're going first, Rinoa."

She shook her head immediately. "No, Squall," she told him vehemently. "You're not going to be the hero again. Not this time."

"Do you think I went out into space for nothing?" he barked, keeping his eyes forward. "Saved you from the side of Balamb Garden? From the Iguions? You think I did all of that to let you die now?" He paused. "I won't let it happen, Rinoa. I just won't."

Tears stung her eyes. "Squall, you saved me so many times," she argued. "But that was so we could be _together_. What's the point of saving me if we're only going to end up apart? Everything you've done for me will have been in vain."

He said nothing in return, but she could see the emotional distress upon his face. For once, it was prevalent. As they streamed down her cheeks, she choked through the tears, "I don't want you to do this, Squall. There has to be another way."

"If we wait any longer, we'll starve," he stated simply, his voice quiet.

She knew he was right. There was no food on the _Ragnarok_, and the Lunar Base supply was gone now. Another option simply wasn't available. "We'll come back for you," she said, attempting to reassure herself. "Both of us will make it home."

Squall nodded once. "Of course."

He didn't believe the words. She could hear it. Wiping the tears away, she sniffed and walked over to the other chair, sitting heavily down beside him. She could think of nothing more to say, so she stared out at the stars, a distraught expression etched upon her face.

"Do you think it was supposed to happen like this?"

The question caught her off guard. His voice didn't hold much besides curiosity, although she felt that he was using the words against her, for some reason. Her brow crinkled, and she looked over at him questioningly. "What?"

"You said you believed in fate. In destiny. Do you think fate had this in mind for us? Was it supposed to happen this way?"

She closed her eyes and shook her head slowly. "I don't think so. I mean…I hope not."

"Do you think we can change it?"

She managed a weak smile. "Maybe. Maybe we can." Rinoa thought of the two outcomes of this situation. Either she went back first, and Squall followed, or she went back and he was left behind. The second outcome caused her smile to disappear, and another sob to shake her body.

She stood, unable to be still with the thoughts. She covered her mouth and nose, walking over and standing at the side windows of the cockpit. Staring out across the wide expanse of space, she noted that feeling she always had of being like a speck in comparison to its enormity. She felt that way now more than ever as the tears kept sliding slowly down her cheeks. _Humans always seem to think of themselves as all-powerful,_ she thought silently. _But there are so many larger things out there. So many larger forces at work in our lives. We're hardly in control at all. …I hate that._

She felt hands rest upon her shoulders, and put her own hand over Squall's left. She continued to stare out the window, but said, "I don't want to go back home if you won't be there."

The response came almost immediately. "You have to."

Rinoa's voice was barely above a whisper. "I know." Then, more audibly, she added, "I just wish we had more time."

She turned to meet his gaze, memorizing every detail of his face. It seemed like she was back at the beginning again.

_She didn't want to go home._

"We have five or six hours." He seemed to know that wasn't enough. Rinoa wanted forever. She couldn't be sure exactly what he wanted, but it had to be more than five or six hours. They were supposed to be together. It wasn't supposed to end like this.

She nodded, and her face started to move closer to his. He responded the same. Both of them closed their eyes, and their lips met in a tentative kiss. Rinoa recalled their tense encounter before, and hoped that he had forgiven her for the terrible mistake.

The kiss turned into a soft, sweet one, and another tear escaped Rinoa's eyes, which were still closed. This was only making the pain that was clenching her heart tighten like a fist. She pulled back and slid into an embrace, burying her face in his shoulder. He stroked her hair in the way he had before. This time, though, it didn't comfort her.

After a moment, she pulled away from the hug, too, keeping her gaze down. "I'm sorry," she told him quietly. "I can't. I just can't." Wiping furiously at her face with her sleeve, she started to leave the cockpit, heading for the lift.

"Rinoa…" Squall called, reaching a hand out to try to stop her from leaving. His voice was almost a pleading tone; a way she'd never heard Squall talk to her before. It made her want to stay, but the pain was too great that moment.

She pushed the lift down.


	10. Night Sky Stage

**Author's Note: **Omg, it's finally here. I'm almost finished with Binary. Holy crap, it doesn't seem possible. Well, here it is, folks. The last full chapter. A couple of you might've been confused on the whole pod thing, but my point was, one of the sides was crushed in, so it could only fit two people at a time, and the pilot had to be one of those two people. Just imagine that the back side was crushed in, so there's hardly enough room for two. Does that explain it a little better? I hope so. Enjoy! I'll see you at the Epilogue.

****

_**Chapter 10**_

_**Night Sky Stage**_

_Fare thee well, my bright star  
__I watched your taillights blaze into nothingness  
__But you were long gone before I ever got to you  
__Before you blazed past this address_

_-Indigo Girls, "Fare Thee Well"_

Rinoa had spent a majority of the time she and Squall had left on the ship down below the cockpit. It was simply too painful to stay up there with him, as much as she wanted to spend every waking moment left in his presence. Knowing that their time might soon be ending was too hard on her. But after a while, she came back up, her eyes red and puffy from crying. She tried to hide her face from Squall when she walked in, but he was already up and moving toward her when he saw her come in.

Meeting in the middle, Rinoa stopped and stared into Squall's eyes for a moment. Slowly, she took both of his hands in hers, and continued to look at him. Firmly, she told him, "I'm not going back without you."

Squall heaved a sigh, letting go of her hands and running a hand through her hair. "Rinoa…"

She shook her head. "I'm not, Squall! Look at all we've been through. How have we gotten through it? Together. It's taken both of us to get this far. We have to go back _together_." She was repeating herself, but that seemed to be the only way to make Squall listen to anything she said.

He stubbornly kept fighting. "We can't afford to wait for another option, Rinoa. I won't let us both die up here. There's no sense in that. They'll…they'll come back for me."

She opened her mouth to protest again, but was interrupted by Quistis. "Squall," she crackled. "Come in."

Tearing his eyes away from her, Squall walked over and picked up the radio. Rinoa found a seat and sat heavily upon it, keeping more tears at bay. She wanted to be close to the radio, however. "We read you," Squall responded. "What do you have for us?"

"We sent the pod up an hour ago," Quistis explained. "It should be there soon. Have you decided who's going first?"

"Rinoa is."

"Squall will be."

They said the words simultaneously. Rinoa looked over at Squall with a challenging spark in her eyes. This was why she was sitting close to the radio. Quistis was still waiting for a definite answer. "Squall?" she prompted.

"Rinoa is going first," he said more assertively, meeting Rinoa's eyes.

Rinoa tried again. "No! Quistis, take him first, I…"

"You're taking her down first, Quistis."

Quistis took in a shuddering breath, though it was quiet. "Are you sure?" she asked, as if she wished he wasn't. Rinoa knew every one of them standing behind Quistis was probably wishing the same. Given the choice between their commander and the girl they hardly knew, she had a feeling she knew who they'd choose.

"I'm sure."

"You two realize that if we can't get the escape pod back up there…" she began, trailing off.

"I know. I'm willing to risk it."

Several moments of silence passed between them. Words of protest died on Rinoa's lips, as she finally conceded to Squall's insistence. There was no way she'd be able to convince him otherwise, no matter how hard she tried.

The words Quistis spoke next made Rinoa wish to be smaller than a dot of the thousands of stars surrounding them. Softly, but with an undertone of slight anger, Quistis said, "I don't think that's the right decision, Squall."

He shook his head and replied immediately, "I don't care. It's my decision."

"You're our commander," she told him more strongly. "You're too important to Balamb Garden. And you're too important to _us_. We need you."

Rinoa felt as if she wasn't even in the same universe as these two. She didn't even exist. She watched Squall tense, then he demanded, "Then as Commander, I order you to take Rinoa down first. Tell the pilot, and have him contact us when he gets there."

Normally she would've been ecstatic. He was protecting her; saving her life yet again. But all she could feel was sadness and guilt. He was saving her life at the possible expense of his own, which was the exact opposite of everything they'd been working toward. They'd been working together so both of them could make it out. She'd never felt so miserable in her life.

Quistis sighed resignedly. "Yes, Squall. Understood. Just…" She stopped. "Nevermind. We'll see you down here soon."

"Over and out."

"Over and out," she answered quietly, and the radio clicked off.

"You really think they can come back for you?" Rinoa asked, desperate for some sort of reassurance.

"Yes," he replied calmly. "They've got plenty of supplies in Esthar. I'll be back down with you a few hours after you get home."

He sounded convinced of the idea, but Rinoa still didn't know if she should believe him. She wanted to, every part of her wanted to believe it. Visions of what their lives would be like after they reached home played through her mind. The first thing she would do was placed her feet on solid ground and keep them there. Next, she would find everyone she knew and tell him how much she'd missed them. That was the most important thing on her mind.

Another factor she wondered about as she thought of home was how Squall would address everything that had happened between them on the ship. Would he ignore it? Act as if it didn't matter? Accept it and embrace it? She could never predict with Squall.

Thinking of home brought a smile to her face, through her doubts about Squall. Fresh air, sunshine, people, and real food were just a few of the things she was looking forward to.

…But none of that mattered if he wasn't with her.

She felt as if they'd grown so much closer in space…but she couldn't be entirely sure if he felt the same way. Squall was (for the most part) unpredictable and unreadable; that much she'd learned by now. At the very least, they had started a beautiful relationship.

Watching him in admiration and longing, Rinoa's thoughts were broken when another voice broke in on the radio. "_Ragnarok_?" an unfamiliar male voice called. "Commander Leonhart, do you read?"

"It's Squall," the SeeD corrected, his voice level but verging on annoyance. "We read you. What's your status?"

"We're ten kilometers away from your ship and closing in, but we can't get too close. We're going to send a rescue pod your way right now. We'll take one of you, and come back for the other. Your station looks relatively unstable, so be careful."

Rinoa's stare snapped from the radio to Squall, an expression of alarm clear on her face. He seemed unfazed, however, and didn't meet her eyes. He was perfectly calm and placid; she knew something about this reaction was off, even if it was Squall.

"Copy," Squall answered, still staring straight ahead. "We're ready when you are. What exit will you be waiting near?"

There was a pause before the stranger answered, "The pilot deck. Make sure you have the proper equipment ready. You have suits with adequate oxygen, correct?"

"Correct," Squall responded. "Rinoa is coming out first, so she'll be waiting for you on the deck. I'll see her off."

"Understood. Deploying pod now."

With a nod, Squall gave one last word of confirmation before signing off. He still hadn't acknowledged Rinoa at all, but she followed him anyway down the lift and toward the room they'd started in after Squall had saved her. There they found the suits they needed, and despite the dread she felt in putting it back on, went back into the suit she nearly died in.

Watching him fit his suit quickly and efficiently, Rinoa couldn't hold her tongue any longer. "Squall," she started, her voice dull and low beneath the space helmet. "What did they mean when they said our station looks unstable?"

He didn't pause, snapping his own helmet on. "It's just the Lunar Base," he explained neutrally. "It makes a stronger gravitational pull on the _Ragnarok_, creating a less stable field around us. It's risky to knock that out of balance…it would knock us out of orbit."

Rinoa's eyes widened. "So…we're in danger right now? Will you be in danger if I leave?"

"No," he answered sharply, making her jump. "You'll be fine. Now hurry, they won't wait forever."

As if on cue, the ship lurched with a painful groaning, screeching sound. Both Squall and Rinoa stumbled, and Squall immediately reached out to stabilize her. They helped each other to their feet, and Squall now seemed even more hell bent on getting her off the ship as quickly as possible. He still had her hand, and was practically dragging her to the pilot deck.

"Squall!" she protested while they walked very quickly down the stairs. "What was that? What's going on?" He kept going until she pleaded in a shout, "Talk to me!"

Now he stopped, letting go of Rinoa's hand and whirling to face her. His eyes burned deeply into hers, and her anger was quelled when she stared into his face. She was transfixed by the intense emotion in his gaze.

"Rinoa, remember the night we met?"

She blinked. "Of course I do. But I don't see how that has anything to…"

"When you saw that star, what went through your mind?"

Rinoa shook her head. "Squall, I don't…"

"Just answer the question!" he exclaimed impatiently.

She looked away, heaving a sigh. She'd gone through that night thousands of times in her mind, especially after they'd met again for the Timber Owls. It wasn't difficult to go back to the night of the SeeD Ball at all.

"I thought…" she started, "I thought that star we both saw meant something. It was more than coincidence that we saw it at the exact same moment… I looked over, saw you standing there, and something told me we should dance."

"Even though I was a stranger?" Squall asked in a rushed voice. "You trusted me enough on first sight to approach me and dance with me?"

Rinoa paused. "Yeah, I guess I did."

Now he spoke more deliberately, his tone serious and quiet. "Then why don't you trust me now?"

His heartfelt words took her by surprise even more than his abrupt actions had. He was right; she needed to show more faith in him. He'd done nothing so far in this whole ordeal that would give her cause to find Squall untrustworthy. She'd trusted him on sight that first time they met. And now, more than ever, she needed to trust him with her fate.

"All right," she said with a nod. "Lead the way."

He nodded shortly, and before he turned back around to continue toward the pilot deck, he murmured, "Thank you."

They ran the rest of the way to their destination, little jolts throwing them off balance every few minutes. After each groan of the ship, Squall's pace became more and more panicked. When they finally reached the deck, Squall stopped before pressing the button to open the door. He took both of Rinoa's hands in his and looked deeply into her eyes again. Only this time, they seemed sad.

"I need you to make another promise," he told her. "Only this time, you have to swear it to me." He was still in a hurry. They could hear the sound of the pod waiting outside.

Rinoa didn't like this. Squall was frantic… "Okay," she said slowly. "What is it?"

"No matter what happens here, you have to promise me you'll go on with your life. Don't waste your time with pointless searching. That you won't give up on your own life."

Her heart leapt to her throat, and her stomach seemed to go in the opposite direction. All the air in her suit felt as if it depleted at once. "Why are you saying this?" she asked, instinctively putting a hand where her necklace would be. "You're coming with me! We're getting out of this together, Squall!"

He shook her frame once. "Just promise me! Please. Before it's too late."

Her worst fears were confirmed in his words. A lump constricted her throat, and all she could do was shake her head vigorously, struggling to fight back tears. She closed her eyes to hide them, and Squall took her helmet between his hands, leaning forward to meet hers with his own. Almost unconsciously, she started to embrace him, and he responded, but their suits stopped them halfway.

She looked back up at him, and he pleaded again, "Promise. I need to hear you promise."

Rinoa choked on a sob before answering, "I promise." Every thought racing through her mind screamed that she shouldn't promise; that she should stay behind with him. But her logic was no longer in control.

The door was opening. Her body started to become weightless again, and reality came rushing back to her. The rescue pod moved closer, but she wasn't ready to leave. "No!" she cried, reaching her arms out to Squall, who'd stepped back to avoid being sucked out. "I take it back! I'll stay here!" Tears streamed down her cheeks now.

She saw him mouth a few words, and then motioned for her to get into the pod. His face, no matter what kind of mask he tried to put up, was just as distraught as her own, though free of tears. She knew he'd never been good at goodbyes.

Finally, the pilot of the rescue pod got out and headed toward her. "Miss, we must leave. We can come back, don't worry." He opened the door for her, but her gaze was still locked on Squall. _We can come back_, she thought despondently, _but there'll be no one here to rescue_.

Rinoa remained motionless. Another jolting movement shook the _Ragnarok_; the largest one yet. "Go!" Squall shouted. "Go now!"

She felt foreign hands on her shoulders, making her jump. The pilot led her to the pod, and she didn't fight. When the door closed after she was seated, she immediately looked out the window. When the pod turned, she was looking directly back at Squall, who stood exactly where he'd been. She put a hand up to the window, fresh tears still making their way down her cheeks.

"Squall…" she mouthed, no sound coming from her throat.

The pod took off back in the direction of the ship that would take her the rest of the way back to earth.

She watched through the back window until he was completely out of sight before wrenching sobs took her over her.

He was gone.

_Fare thee well, my bright star  
__There's a brief, brilliant miracle dive  
__That which I looked up to, and I clung to for dear life  
__Had to burn itself up just to make itself alive  
__And I caught you then, in your moment of glory  
__Your last dramatic scene against a night sky stage_


	11. Epilogue: Season of Pain

**Author's Note:** Please don't throw rocks at me! I know, I know, I'm terrible, I left Squall in space. But you have to read the conclusion before you kill me! I promise, someday, if I get the bug, there will be a sequel. About what, you say? Well, read the conclusion and find out. Thanks for staying with me through this whole fic, everyone. Your reviews, your support, and your devotion to the story have meant the world to me. I never expected such a good response to Binary; it was more than I could've hoped for.

And now...the epilogue of Binary.

_**Epilogue: **_

_**Season of Pain**_

_With the memories so clear, that it's as if you're still before me  
__My once in a lifetime star of an age  
__Fare thee well, my bright star  
__Last night the tongues of fire circled me around  
__And this strange season of pain will come to pass  
__When the healing hands of autumn  
__Have cooled me down_

"Rinoa! Rinoa, wake up!"

The sun was shining brightly outside, but Rinoa had pulled the shades across all the windows. There was no reason for Zell to wake her; she'd never fallen asleep.

Dragging herself out of the warm bed, she made her way to the door, unlocked it and let Zell inside. He looked somber, as he'd looked for weeks now. As everyone had looked. Since the only person who had showed up from the _Ragnarok_ was Rinoa, everyone had lost their spirit, it seemed. Without their commander…they were lost.

"What is it, Zell?" Rinoa asked in a low voice, scratching the back of her head and walking back to the bed. She sat at the end, and Zell followed suit.

"They found the ship," Zell revealed abruptly, as if he'd been holding on to the information and ready to burst. Rinoa perked up from her slouched position. Her eyes widened and she turned a little more to face her friend.

"They…they did?" she fumbled, trying to grasp coherent thoughts. "And?"

The frown remained on Zell's face while he shook his head. "Nothing. There were a couple pieces scattered from the crash, but they searched through everything."

Rinoa tried to hide her disappointment, but the effort was rather wasted. After a month, holding out hope that Squall was still alive somewhere was ridiculous, she knew. "Where did they find it?"

"Just off the coast of Esthar. Laguna's helping fund the search. He's still hopeful." Zell smiled a little.

Rinoa's brow was knitted together as she sorted through the information. If the _Ragnarok _had landed in water…it probably did minimal damage to the inside. The crash would've hit hard, but there was still a chance.

_Stop it_, she scolded herself. _Don't waste your time with pointless searching. You made a promise. _However, she still wanted answers. Meeting Zell's intense gaze, she said, "Is there anyone who can tell me what exactly happened to it?"

Zell nodded. "The Esthar technicians have been going over all the info. They said if you come out there, they'll show you the wreckage and explain what they think happened. That's why I'm here. I'll take you if you want me to, but I didn't know if you were ready to do that yet."

Rinoa smiled weakly, placing a light hand on Zell's knee. "I appreciate that. But I want to go. I'll never get another full night of sleep until this thing is really over. I need closure." Her stomach performed a sickening turn. The words felt like a betrayal to Squall.

"I get it," Zell responded gently. "Can you take the train with me tomorrow morning to the Great Salt Lake at 9?"

"I'll be there."

The bright, swirling colors of Esthar were giving Rinoa a headache. She'd been secluded in her dorm room for so long with the shades drawn all day, every day that the light was too intense for her. The glint reflecting off the buildings wasn't helping, either.

Laguna had started to rebuild the city that had been crushed by the Lunar Cry. He'd departed from the city shortly after the disaster to find help to reconstruct it, and hadn't heard a word about Squall and Rinoa until he returned. He was devastated after hearing the news of Squall and dedicated himself to not only the city, but the search to find answers and clues in Squall's disappearance. Everyone seemed to know he refused to believe Squall was dead, so they were doing all they could to help.

Zell led the way to the Presidential Suite, where the technicians Zell spoke up said they'd be waiting. When they finally reached Laguna's office, they found him speaking very seriously with several of the men working on the _Ragnarok. _When he spotted them, however, a smile lit his face immediately, as if nothing was wrong at all. "Rinoa, Zell!" he exclaimed, hurrying over to greet them. "How are you two?"

Rinoa looked away, letting one hand drop and holding the other close to her side. "Right," Laguna said softly. "Stupid question. Uh…Rinoa, Zell, let me introduce you to Mr. Cale Sair, he'll be showing you the crash site."

Both of them extended their hands, but the technician kept his hands behind his back. "Pleasure," he said to them, then looked directly at Rinoa. "Are you ready to visit the wreckage of the _Ragnarok,_ Miss Heartilly?"

_No…_

"Yes," she answered quietly. "Yes."

The sun was extremely hot.

As the waves lapped at the shore of Esthar, Rinoa stood in front of the dilapidated remains of the _Ragnarok_. Most of it was in one piece, but it was dented, battered and broken all around the remaining structure. There were noticeable pieces missing, which looked like they'd been ripped or broken off. It was a mess.

"We think it crashed right about two or three hours after they rescued you. The remains of it have been found as far as five miles off shore, which is why it took so long for anything to surface at all," Cale started to explain.

"Any ideas why it crashed?" Rinoa asked, staring up at the ship fixedly.

"As far as we've been able to tell, it was nothing to do with internal problems. Most of its inner mechanics were intact. We've hypothesized that it was pulled out of orbit by some much larger object. Do you have any idea what it could've been?"

_The Lunar Base. It was connected so we could search for supplies. Squall told me there was the possibility we'd be pulled out of orbit… Hyne, why didn't I think of that before? _Rinoa shook her head slowly. "No, I couldn't tell you."

The technician made a noise of thought, then shrugged. "Well, we figure the chances of survival from a crash like this are slim to none without landing gear."

"And with it?"

He hesitated, looking at the wreckage. "Still slim."

Rinoa fought threatening tears away while clenching her fists at her sides. Zell stood right beside her, and the last thing she wanted was for another person to see her cry. "Feel free to have a look inside," Cale told her casually. "The outer structure looks worse than the inside."

She nodded, suddenly wishing desperately for one more moment in the _Ragnarok_. Turning to Zell, she asked, "Can you give me a few minutes?"

Zell nodded once. "Take as long as you need."

"Thanks."

Wandering around to the front, she walked up the ramp and into the belly of the ship. It was strange, yet comforting to be back. Once, she'd thought she would never want to see the _Ragnarok _again. But it was familiar…and the memories it held; her star-filled memories with Squall lived on here.

The lift to the cockpit was broken in the crash, but a ladder still remained. Climbing it to the top, she made sure the foundation was sturdy, and walked toward the co-pilot's seat. Looking out across the ocean, she remembered the view of space, and longed to see it again. Just one more time would be enough.

_I...had a dream. A scary dream._

She'd envisioned a perfect future for them here. She'd broken through to Squall…she knew he cared about her. She knew even before they fought Edea, to some extent. She wanted to take what they had and embrace it for all it was worth.

…But that future disappeared with Squall.

_How about this…_

A large device pulled it out of orbit, Cale had said. Rinoa had no doubt it was the Lunar Base. That explained the shudders they were feeling just before she left the ship. She'd known something was terribly wrong, and now she knew for sure what it was.

_Did you know all along, Squall? Why didn't you try to fix it?_

The tears she'd been fighting back won over. Burying her head in her knees, she remembered his face…his stoic, yet gentle face. Those eyes that burned into hers. They all flashed through her mind at once.

_I'll be here…_

_Why?_

At that moment, her head, stomach, and the rest of her body felt empty and numb. Without Squall, what would keep her going? How could she keep her promise to him if she couldn't find the strength?

Two other thoughts crossed her mind at the same time.

_I'll be waiting here._

_Right here in the cockpit? For what?_

Though her body felt empty, there was one thing that felt so full, it was ready to explode: her heart. She was convinced that if Squall Leonhart was truly gone, her heart, above all things, would be an empty shell. And if he wanted her to keep her promise to him, why shouldn't he keep the one he made to her? He made his oath first.

_I'll be waiting for you, so…_

_If you come here, you'll find me._

Wiping her cheeks, she looked up and around the cockpit, as if searching for him. resolved, she stood and placed her hands on the control panel, staring out at the water with a fiercely determined stare.

_You must be out there, Squall, _she thought. _I know it. You said you would be. I'll come looking for you because…I love you._

_I promise._


	12. Bonus Chapter: Prologue to Emersion

**Author's Note:** Hey guys!! Long time no see! I know some of you knew about this sequel, but for those of you who didn't...surprise! Here's the prologue, and I hope you're getting excited. Currently, I'm on Chapter 5 of this story, and it's going really well. I have some editing to do before I'll be ready to post anything else, so it could be a while, but I wanted to give you all a teaser to get you prepared and excited. I wanted to get the word out so that I have some readers at the beginning, but I hope it gains more popularity as we go along. Let me know what you think, and read the summary on my profile for more information on what _Emersion_ will be about. Thanks!

**BONUS CHAPTER:** The sequel to _Binary'_s prologue

_**Emersion  
**__Prologue_

_In loving memory of Squall Leonhart  
__Forever our commander and friend_

Rinoa kneeled before the polished stone in the middle of the Quad and read the inscription silently to herself. It was a nice tribute, she decided, even if it was painful to see. It had been Garden's decision to put up a memorial, but Cid had made sure it was okay with Rinoa before they did it. Obviously, she'd agreed, though a small voice still told her it was wrong to think he was dead. She would never say it aloud, even though everyone around her seemed to believe the contrary. Her heart still believed he was alive, but she was starting to wonder if it only felt him there because his spirit was always with her.

Pulling his leather jacket tighter across her body as the wind kicked up and blew through the aspen tree above, Rinoa closed her eyes. This was the only piece of Squall they had ever found from the crash scene. After months of searching, this was the only thing they'd ever had to show for it, but she was grateful that they'd found it all the same because it still smelled like him. She brought the jacket near her face and took a deep breath, hoping for comfort and reassurance in Squall's lingering scent. But as she inhaled, she found that something wasn't right. Taking the jacket off, she brought it closer and breathed in again, but to no avail. His sweet smell was gone, leaving only her own in its wake.

Tears started to form in her eyes, and the memorial stone blurred. She clutched the jacket to her chest, letting the tears fall. That was the only shred of Squall she had left to cling to, and now it was gone. As long as she could still smell him, he was still among them, in some form. There was still hope. But now…there was no reason to believe he _was _alive, and every reason to believe he was dead. There was no trace of him left, just a stone to remember him by. But somehow, she just couldn't accept it. No matter how much reason she had to believe otherwise.

Perhaps part of her would never give up entirely. Unless a physical body was found, she couldn't fully let go. They'd said goodbye on the ship, but it wasn't enough. It never would be, she realized, but it was time to move on with her life. For better or worse, it was time to start living life again, because she knew that was what Squall would want for her. After all, that was the promise she'd made him the last time she saw him.

Nodding a few times to affirm her resolve, the engraving slowly came into focus again. She reached out with her fingers and smoothed them over Squall's name, then kissed her fingers and touched it again. "I'll always be waiting for you," she told him quietly. "But I'm going to move on now, okay? That's what you wanted, isn't it? But I'll keep waiting. I will."

She slowly rose and shrugged into his jacket again, feeling stronger, perhaps even empowered. In a whisper that was lost to the wind, she said, "Goodbye, Squall."


End file.
